Wow

Holy time warp. What is today? Tuesday? Folks I have no idea how I survived or how I got to Tuesday.
My last post was about a headache and finally calling the Dr. well the Dr. couldn't see me until Friday and that Thursday I was sobbing. My head was throbbing and I couldn't be in a position to stop the throb.
I decided at 6:30pm to go to the ER. Since Andrew and the girls were with me by 9:30pm they had to leave, enter my sister... thank God for her. She stayed with me until 3:30AM! She stayed thru the IV, the threatening of a spinal tap, the pregnancy test that took ten years that since my period was only two weeks ago was obviously negative and the cat scan that said I was full of snot.
They sent me home with antibiotics and vicoden.
Well Friday was fever, constant vomiting, not eating and more vomiting. Saturday was some more fun of the same. I have no idea what happened during those days. I thought I heard that Nick was married to Phyllis on Y&R but that can't be true right? I never watched an entire show. I never logged on, I never got the mail. Never mind the hair on my legs and underarms. Sunday was more of the same. And once again thank God for my sister, who came and took Andi to church and brought me crackers, gingerale, Dramamine (which was a life saver), soup and apple juice. Don't ask why no one else loved me so much earlier, we just have to thank Jenn for doing so after staying up all night with me, having to work the next day. Working my Sat shift for me, taking my child out of my hair... thank you Jenn!
Anyway, Sunday was still rough. But again divine intervention brought my in laws in. My MIL has been amazing with the girls and my lifesaver. Monday I thought I was getting better and then almost died again. Again, MIL to the rescue.
Today I took myself to Urgent Care to explain how ridiculous this all is and he said they should have given you a decongestant at the ER, if you don't get the snot out then you will never get better. So I am now on to Sudefed and Mucinex since antibiotics are all gone and I am still sick.
Can you believe all this? I have never in my life been sick like this. This is like the worst thing I can ever imagine. I knew I wasn't feeling well, but I have had sinus infections before, they are nothing like this.
Oh the Dr. also recommended I take a long hot shower, I think he said that b/c he saw my hair ready to fry french fries in and my legs, well, my legs. But he said that it will help something or other. I told him if he hadn't noticed I haven't had one of those in awhile and he gave me a friendly smile.
Wouldn't you guess that I would come home to shower to find no hot water. In August. In Arizona.
I am tired and going to lie down since MIL has Andi and Lily, birthday girl, is in school.
I feel like the worst mom in the planet. I have done nothing to prepare for her bday. I have a party for her at Peter Piper Pizza that I sent out invites to and my total # is 45 people. Yeah. 45 people. I called today and said um... what is your deal with birthday parties, he said pay $5 for each kid, for dumb party favors, I said can I just have a party there and order pizza and not have the favors, he said yes. When? I said tonight. How many he asks. 45. I say. 45? he asks. Yes. He said well you might want to put your name down to reserve the tables. I said ok.
Can you imagine what he thinks? Certainly not the soccer mom who plans a party for half that and has it all prearranged two weeks prior.
Well I am half way off my death bed.
If you have called me and I haven't replied, or emailed me. This is why.
Hopefully life will begin again tomorrow.
And very happy 5th birthday to my amazing, shining, beautiful girl. I so wish I could be better to make your day wonderful!

OMG

You have to be kidding me... right? That is what I am asking my head right now.
I had this enormous headache last Wednesday and it has been constant but dull until today. Like intense, throbbing, aching, I am dying like.
I googled headache to share with you how I feel and the first picture that came up almost had me throw up in my mouth.
I will spare you that image, you all are clever enough to find it if you want. I will share with you this one.

"Put my new shoes on tonight"

So I paid the outrageous fee to dress up and act like 10 years ago wasn't really that long ago. That's right ladies and gentlemen, I am going to my 10 year reunion, next month. WTF? Seriously?
I mean a lot has happened since Beverly Hills ended their show and Friends was just in the early stages. But 10 years, seriously? Actually over 10 years. I graduated in May 1997. It is August 2007.
I have always been the youngest in everything yet somehow I am not feeling so young.
I am not even sure why I am going. I am good friends with the same girls I was back then and everyone else I am not so sure how I feel about seeing. I mean, I have a Myspace. I know what they are all up to.
I guess it is just a good excuse to go to a bar, dress up and hang out with my friends that I do anyway. I guess we can always laugh at the cliche used to be hot football players that are still reliving their glorious touch downs of days passed. And marvel at how we really should have given that nerd a chance, seeing he is now a top investment banker making millions a year. But he is still a nerd. We could tell everyone about the fact we invented post it notes.
No, I will go there with my friends, sans hubby and we will sit back and probably laugh. Knowing, we weren't the coolest, most popular, but hell we are living the good life. We are all happy, married with fabulous kids. Sure we aren't orthopedic surgeons in NYC, like our class valedictorian. And maybe some people find it sad to be married with kids 10 years out of school, but I don't care. I would care more if I was going in thinking I had something to prove, but I don't. I don't have a fabulous job. I am not coming back famous like so many in my year book predicted, but I am going back happy and I am pretty sure that counts for something. Plus my legs still look good. Class of 1997 best legs and they still look fabulous!
Just hope my ex husband doesn't show up. Then things may get awkward.

Finally

Finally I am piping in with nothing to say.
I had a headache that beats all headaches on Wed last week, nice way to throw off payroll btw. Then I have just felt like crap since. I am not sure if it is a cold or what, needless to say I am constantly tired, dizzy and feel like total crap! I can't figure out what it is but I just want to go to bed. Maybe mono? Just kidding.
I have to pick Lily up from school all the way by my house (40 min drive) to take her into Phoenix to the clinic to the Dr. who wouldn't give us AFO's since she "will never walk". Not that I am a little excited to show him that she is now taking steps with assistance and yes the AFO's are needed but getting there will take over an hour so that I could do with out.
Later skaters I will talk more when I don't feel like I am dying.

08/18/2001

6 years ago today, this was us..... we had no idea where our journey would lead us, we just knew we would be in it together.

It hasn't always been easy and it certainly hasn't been perfect. But at the end of the day, he is the one I want to be lying with... along with whatever child as well...

I love you honey...

Sniff Sniff

My first rejection letter from a story submission, at least I got pretty far for my first submission.


Chicken Soup for the Soul
August 16, 2007

Dear Kimberly Dawn,
We wish to thank you for submitting your work, Acceptance as a possible inclusion in Chicken Soup Soul: Children with Special Needs(r). We appreciate your efforts on behalf of the book and your willingness to share your message with the world. We have been so moved by all of the people who have reached out to us with their own stories and the stories of others. As you know, your story was among the top finalists. This is a great accomplishment as we received thousands of submissions over the past year. The process of choosing what went into this book has been very difficult because there have been so many wonderful stories. Our decision to include or not include a story was primarily based on our reader panel. The panel read and rated the top 300 stories. Their scores were then averaged and the top 101 stories were considered for the book. We then reviewed all of the stories and made sure the book was balanced in all of the chapters (i.e. sometimes we receive too many of the same kind of story).
Based on the above, we were unable to include your wonderful story in Chicken Soup Soul: Children with Special Needs(r). However, we may consider it for any upcoming books in our production schedule. We also encourage you to send in any other stories, as we really appreciate your writing and interest in our work.

SoulSupporter.com Wants to Highlight Your Story

Co-author Heather McNamara has decided to develop a new, easy-to-use web site that features original content where support, reassurance, and additional drive that only other support providers of children with different needs will understand. This site, www.soulsupporter.com, will be a friendly environment where you can trade stories about your children, the hardships, the frustrations, and most importantly the triumphs. You will be invited to meet people from across the world or perhaps across the street where you can exchange information, resources, recipes, laughs and shoulders. The site will also offer practical advice from expert sources and links to the latest medical research from all over the web.


Get Your Free Autographed Copy of Chicken Soup Soul: Children with Special Needs(r).
Be one of the first 100 SoulSupporter.com members and receive an autographed copy of the book! The site is still in the beginning stages and Heather is very interested in your feedback with suggestions on how SoulSupporter.com can become the leading destination on the Internet for parents of children with Special Needs.

Please keep sharing your work with others because the messages are so important for all to hear.
We send you lots of love and best wishes.
Sincerely,

Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Heather McNamara and Karen Simmons
PS. Please help us help those who need your support. Be sure to visit www.SoulSupporter.com and email Heather at hmcnamara@verizon.net to grant your permission to have your story posted on the website as soon as you can. She is also very interested in any informational material you may have regarding your child's special need for the resource section.

More on Callou

Andi's addiction is growing rather rapidly and driving us insane. I think Lily is even had enough of whinney Callou. But remember when I thought it was funny that Andrew blamed Callou for Andi's bratty behavior? Well he is not alone. Going to get more Callou on Nexflicks I came across some reviews for him and here are some I'd live to share:

"My granddaughter loves Calliou but I wonder what the producers of this show were thinking. This child is a bossy whining snot who does whatever he pleases and his mom and dad just let him. What kind of role model is this supposed to be for kids? I think he stinks."

"In my family we call this show "Whiny Caillou". I'm not sure how anyone (child or adult) is able to get through a single episode of this show. We got stuck watching this in a dentist's waiting room and my 5 year old begged me to ask the receptionist to put something else on. I can't reccomend this to anyone."

"If you want your kids to whine, this is a great cartoon to watch. Tantrums, yea thatt's the way to get something."

And I am not sure Andrew didn't almost write this one himself, except for the whole take it away thing.

"could not figure out were my 2 1/2 yr old was getting all the whinning and snivelling behavure from. Then We heard the same thing on Caillou. She had been watching it and picking up all the bad behavure. It really is a snotty child and she was mirroring that behavure. We stopped showing Caillow and the bad behavure went away."


But you always have to love the one that goes against the grain: (or paid employee of Callou Corp)

"Caillou is one of the best show I have every seen on T.V.! When I first saw this show, I was liked, 'What a cute show. Anyway, I still think this show should be on forever."

I'm all for fashion for sure....

And I even like to push the envelope as they say from time to time, but riddle me this. Who would first even buy these? And for $240? If you really like these, try out the local Savers aka Thrift Shop I am sure you can find some camel toe giving jeans there for $2.40.
Yuck! These don't even look good on the size 4 model!

Hair today, gone today

Here was my self transformation today.
Before: (gross)





On my way there:


And waalaa:




Why didn't I do that sooner?

Ugh...

Cramps, witch Aunt Flow and a hubby on again yet another vacation.
Sigh..... I need a bottle of wine. Oh yeah I have one of those. I need to be able to drink it. Alone.

Oh and Kelly, now do you see a resemblance?

See any resemblance?

So Andrew gets asked at least once a month sometimes more sometimes less if he is or is he related to AZ new Cardinal Matt Leinart. I never have seen it before. I see it in Freddie Prinze Jr and Adam Brody. But I never thought that Matt and Andrew looked similar until I did this:
Andrew:


Matt:


Andrew:


Matt:


wow

Recall

In regards to that huge Fisher Price/Mattel recall, I just wanted to say. My children are neglected. I have not heard of nor seen any of those toys on that page except for the Elmo drill we got back last Oct. for Halloween and have no clue where it is now.
I will continue to buy them clothes and an occassional Barbie and don't even start on the whole body image thing with Barbie. Please. But we will continue to neglect our children in the toy "crap" dept.

Hair Woes... Help

So I have been growing out my hair since I cut it short after I had Lily. So for almost 5 years I have only had a trims. I have never had hair this long and up until a few months ago I loved it. Grantied it is thin and stringy and I have curly hair under the thin straight top layer. So pretty much I have gross hair, but b/c I have never had it long I have been hanging on to it. I am over it though, I think. I wear a pony, a braid or a bun every single day. On the occasional day I actually blow dry my hair straight, it looks good for the first few hours, then stringy and in a pony tail.
I am conflicted with the option of cutting short. I have had short hair, a lot. It looks cute, when done of course. But my hair long looks good done. I don't spend time on my hair, so I think not done and long in a pony is better than short and not done in a barely there pony. But I also love Katie Holmes (Cruz) new hair cut. I loved Nicole Richies short and gag I know but I like Paris's hair when she doesn't have the extensions in.
Here is me with my camera phone, on my way to work, just showered and air dried.




And here is just an hour after at work. Like my new blue walls by the way?


I have an apt. for Friday at 10am regardless, I need a trim at least and some highlihghts but I am really tempted to cut it all off.
I get like this. I almost bought red red wash out stuff just b/c I am going stir crazy. This happens to me every few years where I need something different to my hair and soon. I am afraid to wait for Friday.
Shoulder? Chin? Layers? None? Just a trim? Give me some comments people.
Here are some cuts I like right now.

I love her, say as you will about her and Tom, I have always loved Joey Potter
her hair is much thicker than mine though.


I also love Jessica Simpson, her hair also much thicker, I love this cut and color.


I like this, her hair looks more like mine


This is really short, but really cute. Not sure who this even is.


We have to keep in mind, I am very tall, so I don't want to look like a q-tip.
Andrew's only request is no straight across my forehead bangs, and I agree.
So people discuss....

Are you serious?

So Andrew annoyingly is watching Calliou, move over Elmo, Calliou is unfortunately Andi's new flavor. So he is watching this show, with the patience of a really bad doctor... ohh I am so funny. And he is crabby already and is just complaining about Calliou about how whiney he was and how annoying he was and then finally says "That is why Andi is such a brat. It is b/c of Calliou".
He was dead serious.
I was left speechless. Yes dear, it has nothing to do with us. Nothing to do with the fact that a general group of 2 year olds were so bad that they were dubbed the "terrible twos". You are right. Damn you Calliou.... now on to figuring out why Andi is still saying "Damn it LaLa!"

Thinking Blog Awards... or something like that

So Dear Dear Kelly (missingjtsnow) was kind enough to nominate me for the Thinking Blogger Award, which is so sweet! I don't really know what to do with it. You are supposed to nominate 5 other blogs, but the ones I would nominate have already been nominated.
I just think I will stand by the fact that the links I put on my site are blogs I love and would love for others to read. It is like giving my highest recommendation on a wine, except I really know nothing about wine, but it is like that just blogs not wine. Got that Richard?
I did want to say something about Kelly who did nominate me. I love this lady! She is not only the funniest, I am sure you all have read her blog, but she is an amazing advocate for Janelle (her special needs daughter). I mean, look at Kelly's site for Janelle. (link on her page or Lily's page) The work they do to raise money for epilepsy. Her never ending drive for a diagnosis. Her darling videos of Janelle doing things I pray Lily will do one day. I got to meet Kelly and her family twice. Once on her turf and once on ours. I have to admit, the free drinks they supplied us with at the posh Barcelona's kept me from remembering the entire event, but I know for a fact we had fun and our husbands got along and the f*bomb flowed like wine. So even though she does like Harry Potter AND baseball, she really is an awesome person whom I love and am so glad to have gotten to know and meet.
And that's all I have to say about that.

Is it just me... (I'm back btw)

So is it just me or do other parents esp of youngsters get NO privacy?
This morning I unstrapped Andi from her high chair and said "get out yourself, I have to go potty now!" I unfortunately usually have bowels that decide for me the appropriate time to go to the bathroom is NOW! So it isn't long before she is in there with me of course, talking. Then in comes Daddy. "What's ya doing mommy? Pooping?" "Yes, I am pooping" I say. He says, "I know Andi told me". So not only does she feel the need to sit with me while I do my business, she tells her dad about the whole thing.
Oh well.... I am sure she won't do that when she is a teenager, right?
Also, does Calliou seem to be the most annoying character ever invented? Why do kids like him? Andi loves him and I seriously would never have a play date with him and his parents.
Oh and one more thing. I hear the Duggards had their 17th child.
All I have to say about that is I can't wait for that E! True Hollywood Story. You know some of them are going to be cutting about 20" off those skirts and giving Hollywood a call.

Am I the only one who watches...

Am I the only one who watches Big Brother? Why do I like that show? Oh I know, b/c it is drama. I forgot. Same reason I watch the nasty classless girls (we won't call them women) on Rock of Love.
I was just curious, I didn't know if I ran on about how annoying Jen is or what a Dick, Dick truely is, would anyone know or care?
My office just got painted and I picked out the color, but not the wall that he decided to continue to paint on. I didn't want the wall my computer is on painted. I have crap everywhere and although it may look unorganized, I know where it all is and I can make sense of it all. Well they painted it. Broke the cable for my keyboard and papers are stacked neatly. It is a freaking mess! Seriously. I had seprate stacks all over that I knew there importance. Now it is one stack of all types of importances. Sigh.... This doesn't even make sense and it is because I had to get a new keyboard b/c of the brokenness of mine and this one sucks. I don't have the flow I usually have while writing, so I am packing it in today.
Have a good weekend.

I'm Sorry

So I went to the zoo today with Andi and her very apologetic father. We went early after the bus got Lily and had a lot of fun.
It was good to get out of the house. To have some time alone with Andi and to relax. We talked and are on good terms once again, like I knew we would.
It was good until it got blistering hot all of a sudden.
But it was a nice morning. Andi is still napping and I am cleaning and blogging. :)
Back to cleaning, I know she'll be up soon.

Teenagers

I do not ever want a teenager! Boarding school will be how I raise a teen!
My sister has stories that makes ME go grey. She had a good run in with my nephew who darn near ran away today, not really, but he hates his family.
Then I had to work at the store for a few hours this morning and this poor mom was showing her daughter stuff and she just growled. The mom tried and tried and the child just had her arms crossed and acted like life was over.
Oh I so do not want a teenager.
By the way, I have my first yeast infection in almost freaking 10 years and OMG it sucks. TMI, I know, but I need some sympathy.

Devil's Tee

So we had a fun day yesterday, we went to church, then bowling. Andi comes home today.
So I ask Andrew yesterday morning "You're wearing that to church?" he says "Yes".
So here is Andrew and my very young Aunt Gloria at the bowling alley yesterday.






Ummm Andrew..... Satan called and he'd like to have his shirt back.

A Couple Book Recommendations

So I recently finished "The Glass Castle" Jeanette Walls and I couldn't say enough about it. It is a memoir and just amazing.
Now I am halfway thru "Water for Elephants" and just am in love with it. It is absolutely fabulous.
Just wanted to share.

Talk to me

Man, I am bored. I am sitting at our store, by myself. I don't mind being alone, but I wish we had some shoppers to at least buy something. It is still early, but I have been sitting here. Staring at Myspace profiles. Reading the sad news about the two media helicopters that crashed yesterday. I have been devoted to one of the news channels that was directly affected for years and it is really sad. I sat crying last night watching the tributes for these young guys. While my husband lost $20 at a gambling party.
He took Lily to a Diamondback game today and I am annoyed. It is over $100 for two handicapped seats. It is a nice idea, but he didn't have to do it on the fly, waste money and act like he is doing a noble thing. He is going b/c the stupid Braves are playing and he loves the dumb Braves.
Andi is up north with my mom again for the weekend. I miss her.
Oooh shoppers! I better get!

My little sailor

So my sister thought I should share this story, b/c she reads my blog and likes to read the links I have of other blogger and I asked her who she likes to read and she said she likes parents who blog about their kids. I guess when you are caring for 4 children, that is where your interests lie ;)

So my daughter, Andi (2), has picked up a naughty word, that she knows is naughty and still says it. She says damn it. And she says it in proper context which is frightening.
She first used it with Grandma, and Grandma told me and I did not believe her. Then she was helping me feed our dog, Hailey, whom she calls Lala (no idea why) and she out of frustration said "Damn it Lala!" and I said stunned, by the way. "Andi, do not say that word, that is a bad word!" and she made a sad face to me and understood I was mad. I said, "it's ok, just don't say that anymore."
Cut to CHURCH nonetheless where my mom was washing her hands in the bathroom and she said "Damn it Grandma" and I walked in and my mom said she just said and mouthed "damn it" and I said "Andi! What did you say?" and she said "oh my gosh."
I didn't know what to do so I left it at that, so the moral of the story is Andi, my two year old daughter not only swears like a sailor, but she lies like a man.

5 Stars

I am still coming off a high from the movie Hairspray! It was FABULOUS! I loved every second of that movie.
I will always love John Travolta, I don't care how weird he gets in the scientology, he will always be Danny Zuko to me. You can put him in drag, in a fat suit, in anything. I will always love John Travolta. I just adored that movie. The entire cast. I couldn't help but think Johnny T was passing the torch to that little cutie Zack Effron.
Ahhhh my life wouldn't be the same with out a good musical every few months!
5 stars, my highest recommendation!

American Girl

So we got the latest issue of American Girl and I made the mistake of letting Andi look at it. She was like a man in a porn shop. Or me when Norstrom sends their new fall shoe catalogue. "I want this!" "Mommy! I want this baby!" "MOMMY! I want this one too!" sigh....

So last night we hear the police helicopter hover over our neighborhood, so Andrew jumps up and runs to see, says it is over Albertsons. "Quick change to the news." Grudgingly I do, I was watching about someone ELSE'S murder on 48 Hours thank you. "There is a suspicious person in the Albertsons parking lot, there has been several calls about the suspicious person" says the over made up blond woman. OK what is so suspicious. Do we pack up and leave for the night.... like I am that dramatic, but seriously this was a couple blocks away. How suspicious is a person for the police to hover the area in a helicopter? They said he may have looked like the Chandler rapist that is running around Chandler, but they also specify this is the not the rapist, they just wanted us to beware that he is running around too.

Doors locked, girls in our bed. Double sigh....

A weekend to remember.....

So I had a fabulous weekend. One movies could be made over.
Andrew came home at 10am and after 8 days I felt an enormous amount of chemistry with him and we couldn't keep our hands off each other. After lots of kisses and hugs, I gave the girls kisses and hugs and said "see ya!"
I was sad to leave since Andrew just got back, but on the other hand I was exhausted and I pretty much knew this was my chance for a big break. They don't come too often.
My friend Kim shows up at my house and we leave. We get to the resort and check in and head over to the spa where we, 5 of us in total get rubbed down. The perfect start to a perfect weekend. After our rub downs we sit in the spa for a few minutes and decide to spend some time at the pool. That was when it was on!
I got a corn dog, which Kim replied that I was not 12 and kid less and should not eat a corn dog and my reply was "waiter give a a corn dog... oh and a pom-mo" (pomegranate mojito) Kim rolled her eyes and read her Harry Potter. I said, oh and that doesn't make you 12?" We laughed and got our drinks. Allison is halfway thru her second pregnancy so she had to keep it virgin style and another gal was LDS so she drank lemon aid, but Kim, Paula and I went to town! The non drinkers were very good sports, I would have been so annoyed with me, but they were cool.
We had some drinks, went in the lazy river and got some sun, the got some more drinks and lied out at the pool. At the pool we talked about the ones that got away. The guys we really fell head over heels for and things didn't work out. We talked about our kids, we talked about our past. We talked and talked and talked.
Later we went for dinner and talked. Some times pretty serious, sometimes pretty humorous. I liked to chill on the humor side. Out of us 5 three of us had some pretty serious issues in our lives and it did make some talks go rather deep. But we usually picked up quickly and got back to the fun stuff.
After dinner we wobbled over to another place to drink and we sat at the bar and laughed, one flirted with the bartender, who was supposed to kick us out by 10pm and let us stay until 11pm. After that we got to drunk dialing and I don't think I have laughed like that in years. I won't name names, but one of my friends is the best liar and best phone talker I have ever met. Seriously tears came out. Then as we realized we were all lying in the grass laughing, the sprinklers came on and we all got up and ran, again laughing our asses off.
Once we made it back to our room, we sat and talked and the humor was gone and some tears came. Some talk of regret, some talk of major heart break. Things got deep and personal and sad. I think we all realized it was time to stop and go watch a movie. We rented Waitress which I really wanted to watch, but I didn't get past the first 10 minutes, I was OUT. Slept until 6am and then back to sleep until 7:30am. I woke up with a horribly upset tummy that lasted until the next day. But it was worth it. It was one of the best days/nights I have had in years.
I really couldn't have asked for a better time with my friends. I didn't know everyone really well when the night started, but I felt like I left with 2 new friends and 2 even better than before friends.
Each of us came with something different in their bag, relationship troubles, troubles from their past, someone with a child that will never be like other children, one with a husband who lost everything and was trying to regain it all back, and one who lost a child at birth. Although some of these wounds were healing, they were still there and some were not so old and needed some healing. I think we all came, got recharged and got back to our lives with a new sense hope.
I felt like a recharged battery. I came back home and loved seeing my husband who I still had sparks flying with and my beautiful daughters that I did miss and was happy to see them.
I had to send my Lily to Kindergarten yesterday, but I will update her site with that information.
But I had to share my weekend. I recommend all you women, do it. Just figure it out.

Ever have this kind of moment?

So I have been playing single mom this week. We've been having a good time b/c Lily has no where to be (school, therapy wise), I have made a easy schedule with work so we aren't having struggles in the mornings b/c we aren't rushed. I have not yelled at Andi once and Lily has been good and healthy. But I am getting tired. At 5:30pm every night I have to take the girls to church for VBS at 6pm and I am helping with the 2 and 3 yr old class. I have Andi and Lily in there with me and the girls LOVE it. I on the other hand am just wiped out. Last night I had a huge urge to just drink a bottle of wine and go online shopping. I didn't but I sure did want to.
So tonight is the last night. And Andrew comes back tomorrow morning AND I am leaving at noon for a massage at a resort with 4 other girl friends and staying the night at that resort.
I feel almost like holding in poop, you hold it in b/c you are busy and when you finally go it is euphoric almost. That is what this week has been like. Tomorrow will feel like the biggest best poop ever! Just get me there, just 22 more hours.

Ha! Screw up guys I got it!

So after a very sad two month period of not finding anything to watch on tv, I have finally found a show that peaks my interests and left me wanting more! And putting it on season pass, there is not much on season pass right now so this is huge.

Rock Of Love with Bret Michaels....VH1

Not kidding.

Don't judge.

Good to know!

So it is good to know I am in good company this weekend as a single (for now) mom.
I had an interesting visit to Walgreen's yesterday.
First off my mom traded me vehicles, she said I could take her $80k car and she'd take mine, watch my kids so I could work at the store last night. Gotta love my mom. She just hands me the keys to a car that parks itself and says nothing. Nothing. She is the type of person that if I called her and I said I totalled it and it was all my fault, she would ask if I were ok. That is a good mom, I tell you. But you better believe old ladies pass me with the bird when I drive that puppy. I am not making any mistakes with that thing!
So I pull up to the Walgreen's by work, it is probably about as bad of an area you can find in Mesa, AZ. Which is odd since it is just about 3 blocks from the Mormon Temple. But it is a scary place. Plus pulling up in an $80k car. Getting whooped at is just the first of my fears. I run in, find my tampons, alieve, dr. pepper and snickers in less than 2 minutes flat. Pretty obvious what time of the month it is for me, hu? Then I am waiting behind "Helen". Helen is what we call old lady smokers, Helen had obviously been at the counter long before I showed up. She was asking how much a double pack of newport longs were and the lady said $8. "$8! I am not paying $8 dollars! How much are those Virgina Slims?" Helen asks "$3 something a pack" says the obviously annoyed cashier who gives me the apologetic eye as I stand impatiently. "Well that is more like it," Helen says. And so she takes two. The total is almost $9 and she says "well that really adds up!" annoyed. Cashier says doubly annoyed "tax". Excuse me Helen (inner dialogue here) if money is that tight sweetie, you might want to give up smoking. Maybe jump in the shower too.
Helen then asks "Oh am I at Walgreen's?" "Yes" at the end of her straw cashier replies, then Helen says "I need to ask the pharmacist something." Cashier says "I can hold those for you, so they don't get stolen" and finally Helen with hesitation hands over her cigs over to cashier and leaves towards the direction of the poor pharmacist.
Then a local celebrity comes behind me. His name is Dizzy and he is famous for being well... crazy. He either walks the street or rides a bike up and down Main Street and praises Jesus. He actually is a renter of my dad and it is funny, out on Main Street he is Crazy Dizzy, when he pays rent he is normal Robert that just needs a bath. Very nice guy, but a little different. At Walgreen's on guy passes him and says "bless you" and Dizzy says "God bless you!" then very warmly greets the cashier. I smile at Robert and grab my time of the month bag and head out to work at the store for the night.
My dad and his business partner own some apartments that home, well let's say the less fortunate, but they are no slum lords. The place is clean and cheap and never with out electricity. But the characters are quite just that characters and they are all across the street where our office is. It is always colorful to say the least. I swear my life is so worthy of a reality camera crew.
Ok, my time limit on the computer has apparently come to an end. My office is now trashed.

Living the single life...

Well single mom with no time to go out or anything fun, not a real "single".
Andrew is in Alaska fishing for the entire week. No cell service. We have NEVER spent this much time apart, EVER. Especially not talking, sigh.
I know I can complain about the guy, but that is b/c I love him. I am going to really miss him.
I will keep busy considering I signed up to help with VBS (vacation bible school) all next week Mon-Fri. I usually like doing that, but this time is different.
Lily is out of summer school and K starts on the 24th for her (year round). Lily's OT/ST and Music therapist all have this Monday off. We have NEVER had all therapies off in the same day. That means we have no obligations regarding Lily at all this coming week. I could have easily taken the girls up north for the week or at least half a week and just hung out up there and relaxed. I have no idea when we will ever have a free week of absolutely everything.
Oh well, we will make the most of it for sure. I am helping out in Lily and Andi's class so it will be fun to see how they interact and work in a class room.

Frozen Food Aisle

So I am wondering who is in charge of the names and flavors of ice cream these days? Does the top guy at Dryers say "son you're 12 now, why don't you make an ice cream" And the kid goes balls out and just throws in anything you can think of in there? I was just thinking as I walked past this stuff "what?"
I mean wasn't Mr. Baskins and Mr. Robbins a little ahead of themselves years ago with 31 flavors? And seriously who really eats any of other 26? We all know there are about 5 flavors of ice cream that we all eat. Then there are the few originals out there that maybe eat 10 of the others, but please.....cotton candy with funfetti chips that turns your poop purple? Probably not gonna do it.

So what ever happened to the lazy days of summer? I am finding summer to be extremely unlazy if that is a word.
With the hospital stay, lawsuits and audits, a trip up north that turned into strep throat for me, nothing is sounding lazy. Lily starts school in two weeks and I haven't gotten half of her stuff done, let alone anything turned into the system. Sigh....
To top it all off, Lily is having screaming fits in the middle of the night that causes her to scream as loud as she can, like bloody murder, and it makes me shoot out of bed and running to her room. She is just screaming, nothing wrong. So I climb in bed with her, hold her tight and she falls back to sleep. This is strange and a new behavior and I hope temporary.
The problem is, I have a hell of a time falling back to sleep. There I am lying. Thinking of the greatest blogs I could never hope to post. I think of money, bills, schedules, Kindergarten and last night... the future. I was almost in tears thinking about our future.
I am always told, "I don't know how you do it" in re: to Lily, but I always say and 100% believe, she is my baby. Anyone would do what they had to for their baby. And I know I will always do what I have to do, but that doesn't make the future any less scary. It seems like Lily, although I am sure she will learn and advance in her own way, I am a realistic enough of a person to know, she will be pretty much like she is, for the rest of her life. And knowing how healthy she is, I am pretty sure God willing, that will be a long life. I assume.
But what is cute Lilyisms now, maybe won't be so cute as an adolescent. Or as a teenager or young adult. Throwing her head back, shaking her head side to side. Sucking her hands raw. Grrring loudly. Yelling out. All things that make us proud now, will they be just bigger and louder and more exaggerated?
And I don't want to think about puberty. And how beautiful she is. I know I am her mom, but down right strangers stop to notice her beauty. In the wrong hands, I don't want to think about it. The world can be so cruel and one of the most beautiful things about Lily is that she has no clue how cruel it can be and it would kill me if she had to find out.
My future will be worrying about her in the wrong hands. How will I handle her at 12, if I am struggling at 4. Will I have to change diapers until my dying day?
I think as a special needs parent the only way to survive is to do it as any addict does. One day at a time. If I think about our future, I will surely break. I know that one day at a time is the only way to keep my mind clear and positive. But at night, when I seem to deal with my biggest fears I get really down and feel like I need a big push to get back up.
I worry about Andi, Andi adores Lily now. Will there be a day where she looses her affection and she turns to embarrassment? It is so hard to be different when you are a kid, will she be strong enough to embrace and love Lily on an unconditional basis? Will I raise her to be that person, I need her to be?
I love being Lily's mom, I really do. But it seems the older she gets the harder life gets on all of us. She is starting to miss out on things we do and how much worse it will be when she is older, bigger, unable to go places her chair can't go. It is such a sad thought to share the world without her. The saddest thought though is she doesn't care. If I only knew how to wake her up. It is so hard to know she is living in a world I don't know how to get in and she won't share it with me.

I just needed to let my emotions flow, it is important to me to do so. I am not depressed, I was just having some stirred emotions while staring at the ceiling last night.

What day is it?

So I am so confused about what day it really is. Having a Wed. off for me was far more work than it's worth. We had some friends over and it was fun, but it is so hot the pool was bubbling... not really but probably close to boiling eggs. We didn't go to watch fireworks b/c again, at 9pm it is still over 100 degrees. Lily can't weather that (pun intended). So I am working today, all day. Seems like this summer getting in more than 2 hours has been impossible and I am quite productive, I'd like to add. I did find a paper that I needed to email oh say a month ago. It is like the highest on the important list and my stomach is in knots about it. At least it is taken care of now.
Andrew decided to take Andi up north with him tonight, while Lily and I go in the morning. I was told it is cold and rainy.... ahh precious words.
I am driving up Lily and a couple of my nieces. I have only driven the drive myself once so I am sure I will get lost.
So I may pop on by before I go, but maybe not.
Have a good one!

Happy 4th

I updated a huge post on Lily's site and I am worded out and my family wants to hang out. But I wanted to pop in and say hello.
A few words: after begging Andi finally got earings, only one tear and she loves them.
Lily got impatigo. Never heard of it, it sucks. All over her face. See site for more details.
After an insanely hectic few mornings I think I haven't gotten pregnant for good reason, I could not handle another child in these crazy mornings. I think I have put wanting another baby on my to do list for much later.
And final words, the milk has left the building! It took waaaay longer than I anticipated, but I am milk free.... no more mooooo.
Oh and not much of a BBQ day for us, it is 115! Yikes!

going home....sometime

We got the clear to go home, but due to Sunday "fever" lots of people called in sick so it may be awhile. Good news I was just told they will be in to tortuously take the leads off Lil Bug's head soon. Just the fact that we aren't sleeping here tonight gives me some hope! I feel like a prisoner here. I am surprised at the things I will eat out of boredom and hunger! I am not use to lack of visitors. With the surgery we had visitors nonstop but this is the bare bone opposite! I am lucky if my husband and child come throw me a bone for a couple hours. I know it is hard with work and the obligation to visit isn't there since Lily isn't "sick", but mama is going sick in the head! Then no one will visit for sure when I am in the loony bin. I think my word limit is up. I will post from home and it will be long, out of spite!

Still at the hospital!!!!

i don't know what is more frustrating not having a computer or having one and unable to do anything with it.
I can't post more than a few sentences. We are still here and I will update cross my fingers tomorrow from HOME!

Quickie

So we had a great weekend! I was ready for my babies on Sunday, but they didn't return until Monday night. We spent Friday night in Scottsdale, we dined on a dinner that the cost probably could have feed a village for a month, and I feel guilty for that. But we really had a nice time. We laughed, talked and then spent the night in a lovely resort that cost less than dinner! We relaxed Saturday and spent the evening with another couple whom we are friends with and on Sunday we went tubing the salt river. It was a really great time. We went with my family and had a blast. I'd like to do it again.
We did some bowling, remember our cousin is in town, well offically Andrew's from South Dakota. So we have been entertaining her. Like bowling is a sacrifice for me. I was kicking butt and taking names our third game, but due to a time limit I was robbed! I had either a strike or spare 6 out of 8 frames and my score was rocking, then errrrrrrrr time out.
Anway, girls came back at 7:30pm, Andi gave me a HUGE hug and kiss. Lily pooped and feel asleep. Nothing like being comfortable in your own home! Then Andi wanted boobie and since I had gotten over the engorgement, I said no hunny, no more boobie and she cried for about 15 minutes then got over it. I lied down with her in her big girl bed, the was the first time she slept in it and I had to stay with her until she fell asleep, but she did and slept until 6am there! She cried again this morning for boobie, but again I told her no. I think I have about 12-18 more hours until I dry up. I am no longer engorged and the pain as subsided... ohhh weeee did I hurt on Sunday! But I will not go thru that again. We nursed for 2 years 3 months and 5 days. I think it is time to let it go! We just have to get thru naptime today (scary) and bedtime again tonight. Then I should be dry and I will be staying with Lily at the hospital for that Video EEG for the next few days, so I am glad to have weaned her in a comfortable way. She loved being in Greer with her grandparents and already said this morning "Ggrandma Greer again".
I have more to say but I have to pick the girls up in an hour and I still have work to do.
More from me, later... not sure when though since I will be chillin at the hospital for awhile.

Bye Babies...

Sniff, I was sad to see the girls go today. I am so excited about having a weekend to ourselves, but my stomach is in knots over it.
It is amazing how we want time away from our kids, but when you get it you want them back. It may be a long weekend.
We are having a nice dinner and staying in a resort tonight! Tomorrow we will just swim and chill! I am excited, but I keep thinking what are the girls doing? Will Andi sleep for my mom? Will Lily have lots of seizures?
I will let you know.

Just Checking in..

so many thoughts, no time to write them out.
My parents are taking the girls up north this weekend. Lily has gone before, but Andi has not.
I am not even sure what I will do with an empty home.... I am pretty sure I will figure it out though.

Not a good blogger

totally swamped at work with this lawsuit... gotta love lawyers. ours said, we'd do the paperwork for you, but it would cost a whole lot more....
here is what i did this weekend. i always had this little butterfly on the top of my foot but it was boring and just sat there, so i added on to it. i forgot how painful a tattoo on my foot was...

Emotional Bing and Purge

Ever feel like you are taking in and taking in and taking in and there is no where else for it to go?
Yesterday I had to take Lily to Music Therapy at 5:30pm in downtown Phoenix, a good 40-45min drive from our home. We had to do make ups and felt obligated.
The drive there Andi screamed the entire time. It was late in the afternoon, she was hungry and something triggered her and she screamed until we got there. Then when we got there there was an older autistic girl who had an extreme melt down and was screaming like something I have never seen before. She was very large so it was hard for the parent and therapist to control her, and it was heart wrenching to watch. I just can't imagine. Lily is so kind natured, I always wonder who I would have become if she had other issues that changed her personality.
So we wait an hour for Lily, Andi is watching the older big kids play in the waiting room and not allowing her to join, it's cool, I am the youngest, I understand it happens.
So Lily shows up, we get back in the car and something overwhelms me and I am sobbing while driving. SOBBING!
It was our BFF's last day of summer school. Which since she is 5, it is her last day at the FBC ever. I made really good friends with her mom and watching her last day just hit home that in a few weeks Lily too will have her last day too. We had graduation which was sad, but I knew we still had the best teacher in the world for a few weeks this summer. Our BFF has a nice summer vacation so she is doing something fun, but she is gone. Cubby cleaned out, gone. I just thought, OMG, Lily's last day will break me totally.
I know people think, it's preschool, no big deal. I know it sounds silly. But read Lily's website, this place is far more than a preschool, it has been my life line for 4 years. Now we are moving on.
Also my church that I have been going to since I was a year old has been going thru changes and our Pastors last Sunday was last Sunday. I personally love them as a family and it is hard to see them go.
And of course I am on my period.
So I just purged last night like I haven't done in a long time. I still look bad, well it doesn't help that my husband used his outside voice on his cell at 5:30am waking me up and then watching the very last episode of Dawson's Creek from 6-7am once again just sobbing. I just love that show. The finale was so freaking sad. I know it was cheesy and I have seen it a million times, but it still breaks me up.
I am a mess. I need to go to work. I need a shower.
Please some one with some clout call Father Time, I really need him to stretch it out for a few more weeks.

Embaressingly Honest

So I am going to be totally open and say I am pissed b/c stupid old freaking Aunt Flow is here and she brought a lot of baggage. Enough to where I am asking strangers for some relief, you know Valium, Flexerol, Heroin..... well maybe just Advil, but the others might help too.
I am pissed that she is here, b/c we have been trying to not have her here for months. I know I have hinted about wanting another, but never out right said, we are trying to have another baby. I want another baby dang it! I won't do anything besides AL natural, if it is not meant to be then so be it. But I am bummed, another week of this crap. Maybe I just want another baby so the old witch can stay gone for awhile... anyway.. I am annoyed.
I spent most of the morning Ala Sex and The City, minus the Sex and really the city. But I did spend it at breakfast with 3 other ladies. My pals from Lily's school. Us moms are tight! Then me and my friend went shopping. Reminder this is payroll day.. I had some calls asking me if I was OK, I said "Yup! I am a lady of leisure". I got to work at 12pm and I am almost done already with my payroll (it's 1:30pm). I have a wonderful assistant that does all my work, then I just enter it in and I am pretty fast with my fingers so yup.. I'm good.
I started my period, I wanted a huge coffee and to spend money on myself. So there.
You know it is funny, I got pregnant with Lily while going out, drinking and smoking. Andi I got pregnant with while drinking and I even had a cigarette that weekend while drinking and got pregnant.
This is the healthiest I have been in my life. I have tried to avoid coffee, I am drinking green tea instead. I haven't even inhaled 2nd hand smoke in years and I drink like maybe once a month a glass of wine. Maybe I should snort some coke.
Ooh two drug references in one post... sounds bad!

Kim 1995 at Sea World on Orlando, Kim 2007 Sea World Orlando

I thought this would be fun. Same area 12 years apart almost exactly.

Remeber this picture Nicole? You took it!
Sea World Orlando, FL August 1995



Sea World Orlando, FL May 2007

Paaarty!!!!

Woo Hoo! Last night I had a blast! Some of us moms from Lily's Preschool wanted to have a "teacher appreciation" party and we had it at one of the moms whose home makes anyone on cribs look like a tasteless looser. I mean amazingly beautiful home decorated by her and just drop dead gorgeous!
Lil's teacher and two therapist were able to make it and there were 4 of us moms and we laughed and had the best time! We played games! I love games!
We played Scene It.... my team won, by the way.
Then Taboo, we lost that one.
Then Guesstures, we won!
We left at 11pm!!! Seriously, we partied hard and not one drink of alcohol! I know, can you imagine? It was such a great time. I haven't laughed like that in a long time.
And it is now Friday! I am tired; considering Andi gave me a 5am wake up call... sigh... BUT today should be a good day. I have to work both jobs during the day and tonight we have to work at the store til 9pm. We have a huge sale right now 40% off.... come by anyone in AZ. But downtown has this big night out the 2nd Friday of every month and tonight’s the night. I didn't work the last so I am working tonight. Thanks to my lovely husband who is off to Coronado "helping”, my mom has to watch the girls, but she'd rather watch the girls than be on her feet at the store. At least I think she would.
I once again have been “released” from my duties as a juror. Either they aren’t interested in a white woman in her late 20’s or something. Or maybe b/c I always say I can make it so they don’t make me. Anyway, today would have been a tough day to be in Phoenix 8am-5pm. So I guess there is always tomorrow. (not literally)
Tomorrow the sale is still happening so I am going in for a few hours, thank goodness for Ms. Maria. Then the swimming party, I said all this before haven't I?
Oh well, I am tired. I am allowed to repeat.

Am I the only one who thinks Paris should go home? She doesn't deserve jail. Poor thing.



BAAAAHHAAAAAHHHAAAAAA So freaking stupid!

I am eating a real genuine fresh Mexican empanada right now and it is super fab folks.

Too Bad

It's just too bad there is no more way back Wednesday, b/c I am blocked.
Totally blocked. I've got nothing to say. Nada.
It is only Wed and I am dying for Friday. I have to work b/c we are having a sale at the store, but we also have a fun b-day party to go to Sat. afternoon. It is a swim party and I have to bring my niece to help me since Andrew decided to go to "help" my dad's business partner by driving his boat over to San Diego and stay at their million dollar beach house. I know such a sacrifice he is making. I told him this is a tough weekend and he shouldn't go, but what do I know? Anyway, the swim party is for one of my very good friends little 2 years old. I can't take both girls to a swim party by myself b/c Lily has to be held in the pool and although Andi is very good with floaties, she is not able to swim alone. Sigh.... and I still think I want another baby. Why? I can't do anything alone as it is.
Lily starts summer school on Monday, she has been coming to work with me for the last week, but our nurse came back to town so she is watching Lily today and on Friday, where I will either be at work or at jury duty.
Summer school is good, Lily needs to be engaged and I can't do it at work. She cat naps all day long, b/c I bore her. Only problem with summer school is we don't get bussing so I have to drop her off in the AM, no biggie, but have to pick her up at 1pm. So although I do have a nurse that will watch her afterwards, I have to take her all the way home and that is a 35 minute drive and then turn around and go back to work at close to 2pm to stay for an hour or two? That is dumb, so who knows what I will end up doing. Probably just playing while the nurse is there, get Andi early and take her to play some where or something. Work from home... who knows.
So much for not having much to say, eh?

Great Weekend!

So I had a great weekend! Friday night my 10 year old niece slept over and I took the girls to Peter Piper Pizza. I just sat with Lily and relaxed while Sky and Andi tore the place up. Saturday morning we all went out for breakfast and since Andi wakes up at 5am every morning, we were there nice and early before the 10am morning rush. People were commenting on "oh my three girls" and we said, "well just two, she is our niece". I like how people are quicker to believe that my 10 year old niece is mine, than my sisters. People tell my sister she looks to young to have a ten year old, imagine their shock when they find out she has a 16 year old and 14 year old!
Anyway, we spent Sat. swimming and napping. I too, took a 30 minute nap. That never happens, but waking at 5am really messes me up. Damn AZ, why can't we do daylight savings? I mean seriously, sun rises before 5am! Why must we be nonconformists? Anyway, I got to sneak away for a Sat. afternoon matinee with some girlfriends and saw Knocked Up. It was FABULOUS! Favorite movie by far this year! Best mix of humor and romance. It was the best. I love Izzie on Grey's and I loved the cast of losers. And what's his name? Mike from Friends, and the cute guy in Object of my Affection, and silly anchor on Anchor Man and of course guy in love with Amy on 40 yr old Virgin. What is his name? He is adorable and so funny!
Some parts of the movie reminded me of fights Andrew and I had when I was pregnant. So hormonal! Two thumbs up! Unless you spend your days and nights in church, I recommend it to everyone, but nuns and priests. Pastors too, I guess.
After the movie another friend met us for dinner, I had two Coronas and then we went to Starbucks! I didn't get home until 11pm! I am never out that late! It was so nice to connect with women who are married and mothers. So fun!
Of course 5:30am can awfully early Sunday morning and I vegged most of the day. Andrew took Andi to our room at 10:30am and they napped and I feel asleep on the couch for 2 hours. Lily was rolling on the floor, taking cat naps and playing. I have never napped like that! I was like, holy crap, it is 1pm!
Anyway, we went for Chinese and ice cream and just had a great family day.
It really was a great weekend!
Just wanted to share!

I call this Thursday to see if I have Jury duty this Friday! Woo hoo!

TGIF

I know I didn't even go to work until Wed. this week and that was just for 2 hours, but TGIF! I am wiped and so glad I have a weekend of nothing to do!!!
Anyone catch the spelling bee last night? It is kind of funny, I mentioned last year that I watched it and got a lot of grumbles and people telling me I was a bit odd, but I honestly find the spelling bees fascinating. These kids are freaking brilliant. I love watching their little faces as they think. I love their cute little quirks while spelling. I am jealous of their genius. I am not a great speller. I was in two spelling bees growing up but was out 1st round both times. I was the best in my class, but compared to my school I sucked. It is fun though, my spelling is quite lacking now, but considering I have the same vocabulary I did in the 5th grade, it might have been impressive at 11. Not so impressive at 28. I wonder what happened to me.
Anyway, I enjoyed it. My husband and friend came home at 8pm (after Andrew helped friend move) and asked what I was watching and I said "the spelling bee" and they said "oh wow, how interesting". I said "yeah it is even more interesting that in 10 years they'll be your boss".

Back from the Happiest place on earth....

Happiest for whom? Couples on their honeymoon? People with older kids that get to go off on their own? Not the happiest place for parents with little kids.
Sigh... I won't complain. It was a fun trip. We had a good time, most of the time. But 2 is a little too young for a long flight and forced fun. Needing naps and finding places to change a very large 4 year old diaper is tough.
The flights went better than I expected. There was no bribing this kid away from boobie, but I wore clothes that made it easy to do it discretely and she had her Papa on the first flight and Grandma and Papa on the way back. Not that it was easy, and I have once again sworn off flying anywhere anytime this century. BUT she was much better than I expected and Lily was as always, an angel.
The first day was the best, we were at Magical Kingdom and I got Andi to take an hour and a half nap on my shoulder while we sat in the shade. She woke up happy and lasted until about 9pm. Then each day got less and less easy. It seemed like sleep was lacking. Lily got constipated and cried all Friday night. I had her stay back with Grandma Saturday while my sister, my niece, Andi and I went to Sea World and she had a huge poop and was in a great mood from there on.
I think Memorial Weekend might have been a bad idea. I have never seen so many people in my life and I have to admit, I am not a huge fan of people.
I don't dislike Disney. I dislike crowds. I dislike crabby kids who won't sit in their stroller and I dislike worrying about Lily, she constantly needed to be cooled off b/c her Topamax keeps her from sweating, so we had to keep her cool with a mister fan thing that I bought once at Walmart for $4 but paid Disney $17(!) for.
We in all went to Magic, Animal and MGM for Disney and Sea World.
I think CA is much closer and not that much different, so I think we will try Disneyland next year.
I will now share some pix. I took so many it is hard to choose! Check out Lily's site too, I will put more on there!







One more for good measure:

Off like a prom dress

ok guys, no time to blog...
I am off like a prom dress. You know I will have some full Disney details when I return. Although I may be hospitalized, b/c the day after we get back is the last day at Lily's Preschool. I may hyperventilate. Or not. We will see.
Wish me Luck!!!

Vacation?

I am excited and so nervous about this trip. I hate flying with the kids. I love my kids, but I hate to travel with them.
Lily's car seat weighs about a thousand pounds. She has to sit in it though, we've tried without and she ended up laying on a very sweet, but strangers nonetheless, lap. So car seat, a must. Andi usually screams a lot and nurses a lot. I never minded nursing her on the plane before, but now she is 2. And very much 2. She is tall, big feet, talks a lot. There is no faking her twoness. I know people; I know they will think I am weird. I would have thought I was weird if it isn't me. I know it is different to nurse a two year old. But it isn't a bad thing. I don't think. It has been great birth control. A great way to stay in shape, and a great reminder to eat relatively well. But again, she is two. Some lady got kicked off a plane for not covering up while nursing on the plane.
I created a monster, she needs to nurse to sleep when I am around and it will be boobie or scream. I am sure the other passengers will choose boobie, but I think it is more awkward now. It is what it is.
My aunt made her a great Elmo back pack with all new cool plane ride activities that I won't show her until we get on the plane, so that will be a nice distraction. Plus my dad will be on the plane with us as well, but still I am nervous.
I am trying to de-stress and not freak, but it is an uncomfortable situation.
Did I mention we are flying 1st class? More room, yes, but I have a feeling the company will be a little less enthused about a seat kicking Lily and a boobie or scream Andi.
I wish we were flying to Salt Lake instead of Houston for the stop. Last time we stopped in Salt Lake everyone was so freaking nice. They said "oh she wasn't that bad" or "we've been there" or "we have 5 of them!" Those rough Texans aren't too granola. Oh well, whatever. I am totally rambling.
I will post before we go!

Riding in cars with my boy

So here is a little conversation me and the ol hubby had yesterday.
We were discussing baptism and he told me he was baptized Methodist. I said well my church doesn't believe in baby baptizing. We dedicate our children, but a baptism is something one chooses when they are old enough to realize what they are doing.
He said well if I get baptized I will have to discuss this with my Grandma, a hard core Methodist. I said Christian is Christian, she will be happy if you get baptized as an adult as your choice. He said, she's pretty hardcore.
So then the conversation heads into his brothers direction and he said when J became Catholic Grandma was really upset. I said did J care? And he said it was more important to make his wife happy and marry in the Catholic Church than to make his Grandma happy.
I said what is the difference in his life now? Andrew says, “He still gets drunk.”
I said “yeah now he is just feeling guilty for it.”

Oh please don't tell me I offended some one with that one.

Oh and the whole NYC/LA thing, I don’t dislike California, I just hate LA, LA. I love San Diego, I would move there if I had a good job and could afford it. It is LA, the people the life style, the ick of it all. I don’t even go to Scottsdale, AZ b/c of how similar it is to LA. NYC is so the opposite.

Nostalgia

How come no matter what goes into a dumpster, they all smell the same? And how come it is that very smell that with one whiff I get a home sick feeling for NYC. Not that NYC was ever home, home. But as a 14 yr old girl and 15 yr old girl it was a place I lived for months at a time. It meant a different life from the one I had and so it became a sort of second home. I had a love/hate relationship with NYC. At first I loved it, then I realized it kept me from home and then I hated it, then I gave it away and desperately wanted it all back.
I love my family and my life, but I sure do miss NYC. I don't know if I could live there with my kids, but there isn't to say I wouldn't mind trying.
A different world, a different life. NYC. So much better than LA.

Oh and the Suns broke my heart last night.... sigh.... will they ever get there? So much potential.

Look at my girl!

Lily is a somber child. Getting her to smile takes work, we have had 2 days in her life (4.75 yrs) where she was giggly and smiley all day long. Well yesterday was day 3. She was hilarious and so darn cute! I have to share.

Oh did you see....

the Suns game last night? That is why I don't watch basketball. People say, did you see the game? And I say no, they said, I thought you like basketball? I do. I thought you like the suns? I do. Why don't you watch then? Because I have a weak heart.
So I watch last night and was up past 11pm all upset and couldn't sleep. My poor heart. Ugh.....
At least Jordin made it to the finals! Go Jordin!

How do you do it?

Ok, I posted, now deleted something a few days ago about a comment that upset me. I wrote without thought, angrily and although it was not completely directed towards ones way, I still hurt feelings. This is not the first time I have hurt feelings on this blog. So I am wondering how do you bloggers blog without hurting? I mean I don't care if I offend with an issue, but I don't want to hurt people. Especially people dear to me. Do you all just avoid the real things that get to you in avoidance of what I am dealing with? Or do you feel you are right and say so what?
I do feel I had every right to be angry, but I went the wrong way with my emotions.
I am now struggling. I am sorry that I vented so hard core a few days ago. Post is gone, but feelings are not.
Sometimes I just want to fly to Mexico.
I am publicly admitting my fault and apologizing.

Sigh.....

Sigh.....
That is all I have to say. I am on overload right now. Work, life, everything.
Lily has only 2 weeks left of school. Kindergarten starts in 10 weeks. 10 weeks is not a long time. I am excited about our trip, but also nervous about the flight. I turn into the devil when we travel. It is so hard with Lily who can't walk and Andi who doesn't like to. Two car seats, wheelchair, diaper bag, luggage, sigh....
Plus we have had issues before with Andi and with screaming and other passengers. I also am afraid I will get the boot if she nurses on the plane. Sigh....
Oh and what about the Suns? This will be a tough one to win. I hate San Antonio! Yuck. They are a bunch of jerks and now we have to suffer....
I sure hope Jordin goes thru tonight, AZ needs it. I NEED it.

Thanks

Thanks for all your support. I probably shouldn't let things get to me so much. I can take a lot, it is different though when I feel my job as a parent is being criticized.
Oh well, whatever it is over.
I am breathing a sigh of relief because I just finished a HUGE project I have been working on for WEEKS now. I cannot disclose what I was doing, because it is a gift and the reciever is a reader of this here blog.....
Good news is I am done. Bad news is, I have a lot of real work I need to get on and now!
Thanks for all being so wonderful!
Orlando in 9 days!

Rough Morning!

I am fine now, but man was I ever crabby this morning.
Andi woke up at 4:30am and had a hard time going back to sleep. That meant she was ON me for 2 hours before we finally got out of bed.
Then drama from every which way, "white coffee" was thrown at me in the car and I had to get my car detailed so it doesn't smell like spilled milk.
Then the detailer who is Andrew's buddy, said I wipe bugars on my steering wheel, which is a crock, I roll them and throw them, but it is embaressing nonetheless b/c he is a little McHottie and now he thinks of me and a bugar picker. I am, but he doesn't need to know that.
Now I need to find a dress for this wedding that I found out doesn't even have an open bar! Seriously? After a day like this, mama needs some drinks! I guess their monitary gift just went down to pay for getting my drink on.
Oh if you are still scratching your head about the whole white coffee thing. Andi thinks she gets coffee at Starbucks and she says she wants it white. So anytime we drive past a Starbucks she yells for "white coffee". Sad thing is, she even yells "white coffee" when we drive past Albertsons. You'd think that she sees a grocery store and say maybe banana or cereal, nope not my baby. She says "white coffee".
Ok off to get a dress.

Y'All Are Crazy!

You all are crazy. I read your comments and this is what I have to say...
"Poor Bird" Poor bird? Poor Kim's heart.
"A gift from the cat". A GIFT? Well take it back!
Laughing at my horrible night.... ok well, I would too if it weren't me.
"Thankful it wasn't a bat" A Bat? I would have died of a heart attack so you all should be happy it wasn't a bat, or else who would you get to laugh at?
Plus had I actually died in the whole thing, I don't think it would have been funny at all.
Grey's is on tonight. I am going to eat ice cream and chocolate and maybe some chocolate ice cream. Whose PMSing? Not me.
I hate that freaking witch Aunt Flo.

Oh and another thing that was on my mind tonight.... well damnit I forget to buy a card for a wedding tomorrow night. Man.... now that I remember that I am going to vent some more.
I was waiting by the mail box (not literally) for an invite to a wedding for a couple I have known for years. Invites came and went to everyone around me, but not me. I got miffed. I might have loudly mentioned that we weren't invited and I was annoyed, but then I felt embaressed about a certain "mix up" when I was verbally invited and hand given an invitation. It is still in the air what was the real story, but nonetheless we are invited. Well now I am annoyed about it all. It is a semi formal so I have to get a dress. Of course none of mine will do.
I have to pay a babysitter and give a gift. Money in a card that I freaking forgot to buy while at Hallmark today. What a dip. Now I have to go to Walgreens for tampons and a wedding card. And maybe some chocolate.

Out.

Tragic Night!

OMG! Let me just say I wrote OMG! about an hour ago. Now I am back, let me try to remember what I was talking about. Let me just say, people try to be organized. OMG I am a mess! I am let's say 12-18 months behind in e-filing applications and what do I need for this law suit. Applications. Sigh..... I am finally all caught up and now I can do payroll. Although life just made another swerve. I have to have payroll done and entered by 3pm. It is 11:30am and I haven't touched it yet. Nurse just called to say she has a migrane and cannot watch Lily today. I need to be home by 1:30pm. I live about 35-40 minutes from work..... sigh. BUT I must tell you my story about last night!
Sorry another long break. But you didn't know that did you?
So here was my night last night. Andrew was working out of town. Thank God nurse fed Lily and left at 6pm, Andi who didn't nap at day care crashed at 5pm, on me. Everytime I put her down she spazed so I held her most of the night. Then around 7pm I tried to put her in her crib and she spazed. I let her cry awhile while I got poor Lily ready for bed. Then I took Andi out of her crib and said "if you want to be up then walk, I am not holding you anymore!" So she follows me around the house screaming and crying "hold you". I am still trying to get Lily all set for bed. Finally at 8:15pm Lily is ready and in to bed she goes. I tell Andi, ok I can hold you now. She wanted to rest, but of course couldn't sleep due to that long late nap.
So finally it is about 9:30pm and she is nursing and relaxing and I think she is almost asleep and in comes the cat thru the dog door and lies something on the rug. Well the lights are low and I am not sure what it is until it FLAPS ITS WINGS! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHH!!! Picture high pitch horror film scream.... AHHHHHHHHH!!! OMG! OMG! What do I do? What do I do? Have I mentioned a deep fear and disgust for birds. Like a real dislike for those things. I still cringe thinking about it. I just screamed and screamed and said "Meow, take that away!" I was so scared he was going to throw it on me or something. Some how he managed to take it to the dinning room, where I yelled "Hailey" (our dog) and I said "go get what Meow has" she saw it and took it and went outside. Meow followed behind. They both kept coming in and out licking their chops and I was shaking. Literally shaking. I was so scared. Poor Andi was holding onto me like she just witnessed a murder. I feel bad I scared her so much, but I freaked out. Like truely freaked out. And I said I WISHED I were crazy.
Well Andi slept with me and the cat was not allowed anywhere near me.... ugh gross!
If they think they are some sort of tag team bird killing duo, they better think twice or they will find new homes. I will not live with half alive birds in my home.
Or alive ones, or dead ones, gross. Oh it just gives me the chills..... so freaking gross!

MILF?

How offended are you moms by that expression, MILF?
I am pretty sure you all know what the acronym stands for. It is from a famous line in American Pie. Two kids looking at a picture of Stiffler's mom and one kid says "She's a MILF!" "MILF?" the other kid asks and he said "you know Mom I'd Like to F@#*". Then they chant "MILF, MILF, MILF". And now it is a word used in the slang English Language. How offended are you by that word/acronym?
Is it such a bad thing to be desired? Ok the F bomb is a rather aggressive word that is offensive in its own right, but what it means, how bad is it really?
Men are pigs, no matter how much paint you paint on them, the pig is still a pig. They will say things, and certainly think things when they find a woman attractive.
What is so wrong with getting your kicks somewhere. It isn't like some guy says "hey MILF!" and I strip down to nothing and I give him the best 5 minutes of his life. Please, it is just an expression.
Alright discuss moms, am I totally off. Should I never let someone "disrespect" me like that? Should I turn a blind ear and say "why I never".

Fun weekend!!

I am trying to find some time to post, but I have Lily at work with me today. I don't normally work on Monday's, but due to this lawsuit I am trying to feed Lily lunch, find files in my computer and really wanting to update here!
Friday night we went to the Improv. I planned this event; it was my sister and her husband, my aunt and her husband, my mom, my brother, Andrew and I. The comedian was Josh Blue. I am not sure if anyone is familiar with him, but he has cerebral palsy. He won Last Comic Standing on NBC last year and is absolutely HILARIOUS! I mean, tears down my face, stomach hurting, face paralyzing funny! My brother was just laughing and totally enjoying himself! We laughed so hard when Josh said how people talk to him, like they think handicapped people are hard of hearing "HEY BUDDY! HOW ARE YOU?" My brother just nodded and laughed! Lily is getting that too already, like if you can't walk your ears surely don't work.
We just really had a great time! At the end my mom bought a couple DVD's and then we took my brother over to Josh and they did an awkward handshake with both their "bad" hands and Josh gets a DVD signs it and says to my brother "palsy discount". I touched him on the shoulder and said, "That was great! Thanks!" and he smiled. It was such an amazing night! Hats off to Josh Blue and if anyone gets a chance to see him! GO!

Saturday was just another fun day! We took the kids to see Sesame Street Live! It was so fun! I couldn't believe how good Andi was and how much Lily enjoyed the show. I think Andi was one of the only two year olds that sat and watched the entire thing and sang along. It was so cute to see. Lily loved the light sticks and just clapped and wiggled and "sang" too. We really had a great time. It was one of those beaming proud mom days.

Sunday was nothing out of the ordinary, just church, lunch and rest! But with a weekend like that, who needs anything else!

Hope you all had a great one too!

It's a good thing ....

It is a good thing we all have a good sense of humor, b/c we have turned this law suit into a party! We have this ridiculous amount of paper work we have to get together by the 16th, but we are just laughing our heads off while getting this all together.
So I was listening to the radio this morning and they had this cute little contest going on asking people to call in and say how they were embarrassed by their kid.
I have yet, and I clearly specify yet, been embarrassed in public by my kids BUT I sure got embarrassed by all both my nieces and nephew. Nephew threw himself on the floor at the grocery store when I was a mere 16 year old b/c I wouldn't buy him something so I just walked away. Then he later spent about 30 minutes in the bathroom, I finally go into the men’s bathroom at McDonalds and find him covered in poop. I take off my jacket and carry him out naked with his 5 year old sister following behind. My oldest niece when she was about 8 and I was only 20 would call me mom, very loudly, in public. Everyone would look at me like, that is a young mom.
But my little niece tops the cake. When she was 3 (now 10) I took her everywhere. I had her on the weekends, I took her shopping. I loved having her with me. I was her fun aunt and one day we went shopping.
She was potty trained and going potty, while I was in the stall with her and someone next to us had some very obvious stomach problems. I was trying to talk over the loud noises but her mouth opened wide and her eyes lit up and she said "who was that? Farted!" Then later that day while trying a swimming suit on in the dressing room, as I undressed she yelled "Kimmy got a naked butt!" Sigh.... looking back it is hilarious, but as a young twenty something thing I was very embarrassed! Love my nieces and nephew! They are the best! Although they are getting older and more mature they will still be the pooper, the loud and the silly!

Jury Duty

So I got a Jury summons in the mail and unlike most people I was excited.
Am I the only person fascinated with the whole court process? Of course excluding Wendy and Kelly who spend their days in court, I love law! I know I would never be a good lawyer, but I sure love the whole idea of court room drama. Now I don't like the ones that sue us personally for barely rear ending someone at 5 mph. Or the ones who sue my dads company for something totally bogus. I like the REAL lawyers that fight about real stuff. Not that person pissed on my lawn. But this guy killed his wife stuff.
Anyway, every time I get one I anxiously wait till 4:30pm to call the day before and both times they say you are excused. I hate that! At least let me listen to the good gossip then decide if I can be on the jury.
I am sure I am totally seeing this differently than the people who actually have to be a juror, remember people I live an over dramatized life. I think of it as murder, evidence, a victim, a killer with a reason. I LOVE drama!
I will call at 4:31pm on June 7th and see if I at least get to get dressed professionally and sit all day at the court house.

Change on a dime

Isn't it crazy how you go from loving to pieces someone to wanting to strangle them? Andi had my emtotions all mixed up today. She was so cute this morning. She went into the cupboard and got her breakfast, sat in the recliner and watched Elmo while I got Lily ready for the bus. When the bus got there she got her back pack, rolling suitcase and walked outside to meet the driver, whom they are apparently best friends. All was fabulous, I was proud of my cute girl then... dun dun dun.... she got into cupcakes from the counter and they all dropped on the floor so I picked it all up and threw them away. OMG you would have thought I threw away Elmo himself. She just lost it. She was so pissed. Ugh, the rest of the morning was a huge ordeal.
Oh and my husband is not my favorite person in the world right now either.... ugh... I will make him read my nice blog and make him feel like a real piece.

Here is Andi and her boo boo. It isn't that bad, but she never had a owie before.