Friday, November 30, 2007
"Mommy, you're butts hanging out"
Some people.
So Andi damn near had the beating of her life, if I were abusive. I really wanted to be abusive yesterday. I really, really did want to be abusive.
Everything was going well, lunch at Chipolte. Hair cut for the poor little thing with stringy hair like her mama. A quick return at Old Navy. Then the car seat. Oh that car seat. She thought she needed to be in Lily's car seat. I don't care, "get in and buckle up". She says "no". I said "Now!", She said "No!", I said, "If you are not buckled up by three, I will put you in your seat. No music! No Ariel doll! 1-2-3".. still not in her seat. Ok fine, you wanna play this game? I pick her up, take her around the rockin minivan to her seat. I physically put her in her seat. Her back is arching, she is kicking, she is screaming. The parking lot full of mothers look at me like I am in the wrong. I am saying "You have got to be kidding me Andi" she is screaming like I am not her mother, or am.. I don't know. I finally get her in, I swear to God she had the strength of three men. I start driving, screaming at her. Shaking from frustration. She is screaming, screaming, screaming, trying to Chris Angel herself right out of her seat. Screaming, screaming, screaming. Click... silence. I look back, she had her car seat unbuckled. We have the Britax Marathon, it is not something you just push a button and you are out. It takes strength..... strength of three men to be exact.
I pull over and buckle it up, she screams, although this time it is a deeper scream, she says something about she is the devil and here to overtake the universe. I think that is what she said. So I drive again, scream, scream, scream.... click... silence. On THE FREEWAY! I could have thrown her out right there and then. I was absolutely so infuriated I didn't know what to do with myself. We got home and she napped two hours and woke up sweet as pie.
Now anyone want to ask me why I quit on trying to procreate and got that IUD?
Thursday, November 29, 2007
She's at it again....


And now they all play in Sissy's bed..... Creepy McCreeperton

And Lily's bedding is stripped b/c she had a bloody nose and it is all in the wash... I don't normally have her bed look like that.... just saving myself some judgement. (if possible) The mess in the background of the first two pix.... well I have no excuse, I am messy.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Funny Stuff...
Andrew and I am in bed watching the news last night and we see this:
http://www.myfoxphoenix.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail?contentId=5054005&version=5&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.1
Maybe I was just tired, but this is why you don't go to sleep with 5 yr old and 6 yr old BOYS in your condo. The mom makes it sound not so bad, then hyper 5 yr old says they were making a ROCKET SHIP! And then they show the culprit and you can tell by his hair cut he spends a lot of time alone while mom has "tonsillitis".
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Should I admit this?
I am cautious at explaining a story about Andi. I blogged about this years ago at the other place, but when I was in the 3rd grade I was told to draw a family portrait. Well I did. It is hard to see in the picture on the computer, but in my dads hand is a beer. When the teacher asked me in front of the entire class while I stood proudly explaining my family, "why does your dad have a beer in his hand?" My answer that followed paved my way to al anon meetings.... "Because he always has a beer in his hand." The class laughed and the next thing I knew I was in a meeting with the class rejects talking about our parents. It pretty much sucked. My dad drank, but he was funny. It wasn't like he was angry, or hit us. He told jokes. It wasn't this detrimental situation like my teacher thought.
Anyway, old news, but you can see my reasoning for the consideration of sharing what Andi was drawing yesterday. I had to take her to work with me for about 30 min while Lily was in her therapies. I gave her some paper and pens and she started coloring. She starts talking about her picture so I turn and look and she says "this is mom fighting with daddy" and she has to circles for faces and a big line went from my circle to his circle. I said "what?!" and she explained it all over again. I was laughing, but embarrassed. We argue a lot, but we don't get in drag downs. Neither of us have ever, EVER laid a hand on each other, but we do disagree pretty much on everything so we do argue often. I'm figuring I better lay low for awhile and agree to disagree before CPS comes to our door and takes ME, obviously the aggressor, away.
Sigh.....
Monday, November 26, 2007
And... we're back
We flew at 6:30am on Tuesday morning and as much as I was dreading it, it went as smooth as possible. We woke the girls at 5am and we left, they were both happy and sweet. The airport wasn't busy yet and thanks to Lily we got to park in handicap and got checked in, thru security and I still had time for Starbucks before we boarded.
We rented a car and that was smartest. We flew to Denver and drove up to Windsor, just north of Fort Collins. It is absolutely beautiful there! Cold though, holy snikies! I was freezing!
We had a great time with just Andrew's brother and wife the first night. My sister in law took me shopping for a bit the next day. Everyone came Wed. afternoon. It was a full house, our hosts were incredible. I know how much it costs to feed people for one day, they had us for three! They had our meals all planned out and great ones at that! I am a bit of a snob with Thanksgiving b/c my family does it all completely home made and they hold no stops, but I was very impressed! Although I am not much for contributing with the cooking, I did spend most my time in the kitchen doing dishes, it was all I could do to help.
There were some minor issues, but we had us, the hosts, Andrew's other brother and wife and two kids and his parents and his grandma all under one roof for two nights. That is a lot of reasons for lots of drama, but all in all it really went smoothly.
Except for chocolate milk on new carpet I was pretty impressed with my girls. Well Lily of course, but Andi really was well behaved and I was proud of her. She loved the snow and wanted to play in it all the time. Too bad she has a mom who has no concept of winter so she was poorly equipped to play in it.
We did another small medicine wean the day we got there for Lily and she had a gran mal seizure that first night. I put her back on her regular dose before that last wean and she was fine the rest of the trip. She is such a trooper! Since I was unsure about the circumstances for the seizure. Travel? Wean? Elevation? I decided to try one more time with the continuation of the wean and started yesterday, we got home Friday late night. Lily did fine last night. We will continue.
As odd as this may sound, I am all ready to get back to work. Monday was the only day I worked last week and I am ready to go back. I am also ready for a little preschool action as well as school for Lily. Judge me all you want, but mama needs those three days a week at work with adults and no kids. I just have to get thru a long therapy day and I will work tomorrow.
Well this is obviously boring, but I just wanted to get a quick update and hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving!
And NOW we are all allowed to decorate and listen to Christmas music and it is soooo on!!!
Monday, November 19, 2007
Not sure why
So she names her dolls, of course she does, but she doesn't name her dolls Sarah or Beth. She names them by their characteristics. For instances, last Christmas my mom got her a real life looking baby that is close to 10 pounds, her name is heavy baby. She loves Lily's American Girl and calls her Sissy's baby. Oh and she has a doll that goes in the bath with her, but for some reason unlike us humans the more baths she gets the stinkier she gets and I can't stand the thing to be near me. And don't bother commenting to me about how she is probably full of mold and I am contaminating my children, alright. Well since I always tell Andi to get her away from me, she is named Stinky Baby. These are all her names she has named these things. So I wanted to show a picture of our Sunday morning roll call yesterday.
"Sissy?" "Here"
Sissy's baby?" "Here"
"Stinky Baby?" "Here"
"My Lady?" "Here"
I had no part of this little session, I just took the picture.
We are off to Colorado at 6:30am tomorrow! OMG! Will we ever make it to the airport by 5am? Are you kidding me?????? Sigh. We can't get to church on time and that's at 10:30am!
Have a great Holiday Folks, I will catch you on the flip side.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Not feeling so great
In my effort to make sure I have no more children, at least for the next few years, I got myself an IUD. Yeah, not too pleasant. I am bleeding like a mofo and cramping like a mutha. I should break out a thesaurus, but I don't wanna.
Anyway, I have some reports to run and then I am heading home. Not too much planned for this weekend so that is nice.
My brother is back in the hospital, he likes it that way I assume. Pancreatisis (sp?), too much alcohol. He ends up there every month. I think he needs a really good hit to his head to get him to snap out of it. I think they treat him too nicely there. Why else does he keep on going back.
I signed up to walk the half marathon this year. I am taking Kim with me as well. I ran the thing 4 years ago, but it is in January. I haven't ran since. I don't think I could do it in only two months of training. Plus, I don't wanna. We're doing it as a fund raiser for Lily's old preschool. I need to raise $250 to do it. Let me know if you want to support the place that helped the cutest little girl on the planet and the place that saved me from a very dark existence.
Scoot on over to Lily's site to see her taking steps with her PT. She is a rock star.
Have a happy weekend. I am sure my uterus and I will.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Inch by Inch
I guess I am writing this b/c I have a stat counter and I am realizing some sick bastards find my site by googling really sick shit and I realize that maybe I shouldn't hit spell check before I post. It appears that the proper spelling of the word d!ldo and my title having the word diapers in it seems to bring out some real sickos! Probably where Annon stumbled in from. Ahem.
I guess I never understood why certain words weren't spelled right, or have a symbol in them on other blogs. Well I figured that out.
Awhile back I was absolutely shocked when a phrase I used on Lily's site was completely taken out of context and googled and my site came up. When I found that out I was much more careful about explaining where I administered her emergency Diastat (Valium). But I didn't think so much about my blog. Well I guess I should have. A very popular search on google that leads them to me is teens in diapers. And I already said one of the most disturbing ones about diapers and d!ldos. I guess I am learning inch by inch how to do this whole blogging thing. Sometimes I wonder why I bother, but then I try to not do it and it drives me crazy.
Anyway, a lot of rambling today. Just a little grossed out by what people google and they find my blog. Gag
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
What a waste of brilliant minds
Oh and close your eyes or close your browser if you are against any of my judgement, b/c I am about to judge.
Why is Bruce Jenner married to that lady? I mean, really, why? I haven't seen that show on the Kardasians, but it was on while I was taking pix for Ebay while the girls were sleeping and I am watching it. I am thinking, this guy seems to have morals, seems to live under some code of ethics and he is married to basically a pimp. And not just a pimp, but one who pimps out her own daughter. And yes I am judging, they want to be famous, they put their dirty laundry out there and they are showing what tasteless, classless humans they really are. But Bruce seems to not be like them. What is he doing? Why would he put up with that crap.
It is funny b/c I always liked Brody, he seemed so different than Spencer and Franky (if you don't know who I am talking about, you are really missing out on some great television). I guess it is b/c he was raised by a non Hollywood, Hollywood parent, Bruce Jenner, but he has to have some corruption with his dad marrying a woman like that. Yuck. I do not like that show.
Why don't they ever have reality shows about, say.... reality... like me. Follow me, that's reality!
Sunday, November 11, 2007
I'm not smarter than a 5th grader
On my drive back home I am lost in thought, wondering when did my 10 year old niece become smarter than me? And as I am thinking that thought I look in the rear view mirror and I see Andi putting a wet wipe in her Sonic Blue Coconut Creamslush and then wiping her hair with it. I smile and think, at least I have a few years on her.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Ahhh my child.....
This one is fancy with all the us b port plug ins in the front. Great for anyone WITHOUT a preschooler.
I have a blue tooth wireless keyboard and mouse. Works great when the blue tooth US B is plugged in. Not so hot when it is somewhere in the house. And let me tell you a wild goose chase with a 2 year old is not fun.
I was calm at first, this is the 2nd time it happened in less than 24 hours. I said "Andi where is my plug for the computer" Andi shrugs. "Where is it?" tone a lot stronger I ask again. "I dunno" she says. "WHERE IS IT!!!!" I demanded. "In my boobies." she smirks. "Not funny Andi, where is it?" I ask for the third time.
This went on for about 20 min. it included a time out and a crazy chase thru the house of all the places she thought it could be. It was just sitting on the carpet in the living room. Sigh...... Where is her dad?
At least she makes up for some things by being clever. We were watching Dora last night. She was on my lap watching while I was dog erring almost every page of Pottery Barn catalogue. Dora says "say back pack!" and Andi obliged "Back Pack!" then Dora says again, "say back pack!" and Andi says, "I already did, Dora." very annoyed that she didn't hear her the first time.
Have a nice weekend. I am back to cleaning.
Friday, November 09, 2007
Dear ANONYMOUS
Well hello there ANONYMOUS. Have we met? You seem to think we have, but any person I know and respect would have not signed annon. By the way, you in no way deserve any explaination of myself, but frankly you really pissed me off. I know people send hate mail to bloggers all the time, but popular ones. Not little girls like me living in Arizona. But thanks for being the first.
I am shocked and honored that I am THE most judgemental person you have met. Interesting. Where do you live? Antartica? I am judging because two self absorbed women couldn't stop worrying about themself and I had to stand there and wait for them? I am judging? Ok, whatever.
And sorry but the fact you called me racist, well that was out of line and absolutely uncalled for. Judgemental, ok, fine. I do judge people and it would be very interesting to meet someone who does not judge. Not someone who just says they don't. I am judged daily on my parenting, my character, my job, MY BLOG... everything. We are all judged and we all judge.
But racist? Racist??? You have not a clue who I am and what I come from. I do not have to tell you anything about myself. In my book post I mentioned not liking to read other cultures. That makes me racist? Well I am racist against my own history. I don't like reading US History. I like reading easy, stupid novels. Sorry. Guess that makes me an idiot and a racist. I am the last person to call a racist, and I guess if you knew me like you seem to think you do, you would have never ever said that.
Now I recommend to you Annon that you just stumble across someones elses blog. Stay clear of my racisism and my judgement and never come back. Okey Dokey.
Oh and it is the internet honey... no one is ever annonymous.
Friday!
Andi and I am going to Lily's field trip at a place called Bounce U. It is a place with bouncy things. They said Andi could go, so it should be fun. I took the day off. We'll leave in a few.
Our old dog went with me outside to put Lily on the bus this morning. She does that often. She is old, nice, never snaps. She is a good dog. So some guy goes running past with a big german sheppard and Hailey trots her big fat ass over to them to see what they were doing and this man just yells "DON'T" and puts his hand out front like in a stop in the name of love position. I said "Hailey come here" and the guy does it again. Like I have never heard someone yell like that at a perfect stranger. I was totally in shock. I hope he comes running by tomorrow. And the next day and the next. Hailey will be out there to greet them each time. What a dick head.
Have a fabulous weekend!
Thursday, November 08, 2007
IKEA
I guess the fun part will be seeing whose chair breaks first. Let's hope it's Andrews.
Do you ever overhear people talk and you under your breath say something you would never say? Like these two ladies at Ikea were all "OMG look at that, that is for your dog, OMG, so cute" and I said to my self.... "OMG I am going to sh!t those are so cute".
Oh and at Starbucks yesterday there was Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb standing in front of me with this huge ass order. They were obviously in sales... not judging, just saying, and they were on my last nerve with their order and their conversations. So finally their order is served and she is grabbing two strawberries and cream fraps that were so obviously not hers, obvious because she has to ask the barista, "oh those are so heavy, how many calories? 800?" Barista "No actually 350", Tweedle Dee "Oh my! What about my sugar free, fat free, taste free skinny latte" and the poor barista says looking annoyed "off the top of my head I am not sure, I think 120 for the tall" Tweedle Dee "Oh so mine is less right" Barista, "no yours is a grande, more. Pumpkin spice latte for Kim" Dee and Dumb just standing there, still standing there, counting calories, talking about calories, throwing up their calories later I am sure! I am nicely trying to grab my drink, but it is impossible to get past these two. THEN Dumb grabs my drink and says this is ours too right and then I say from behind, "NO! It is mine" and they turn at look at me, offended and then they make fun of me. They were saying "don't touch her drink" God I so badly needed some balls and quickly and again under my breath as I walked out I said "quit counting your f*%king calories and move out of my WAY!" UGH. I really need some balls. And some better comebacks if I am going to get those balls.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
The Movies!
I used to see a movie a week. I knew what was coming out, when it was coming out and what the reviews were. Now I look at the movie listings and say "what's that?"
My mom and I went to a movie Sunday night and we randomly picked Gone Baby Gone. I was intrigued since I love the Affleck brothers and I heard it was from the same writers as Mystic River so I thought it should be good. I had not a clue what it was about and was entranced the entire movie. It was fabulous! Not a feel good that is for sure, but that Boston accent is so cute and Casey just moved himself in my top 5 list! It really was a great movie that I recommend, great for date night. But be prepared for your ears to sting with F Bombs! I was laughing at all the creative ways they figured how to put that word in certain phrases.
Then last night I went with "my circle" and my nieces to see Dan in Real Life. I had wanted to see it, but figured it would be by rental. I really didn't know what to expect and I was completely overtaken by this movie. It was absolutely fabulous in every meaning of that word! Steve Carrell was wonderful, Dane Cook... ehh could have done with out him, but it was such a great movie. Funny, sad, feel good ending. Wonderful! I loved it. I especially loved seeing a family onscreen that really resembled my family. Loud and overbearing. We just now need to add a family talent show and dueling crossword puzzle game to our vacations up north and it will be us.
So I totally recommend both those movies if you all are able to get out of the house.
And it was odd that in Gone Baby Gone the coke head lady was the same lady as one of the clean cut moms in Dan in Real Life. Weird. Great actress to pull that off!
You all know our store closed and the things we couldn't sell got divided and taken home. There were some great perks to this. I got a chandelier, fabulous clothes, a lot of nice hangers, a table and some other miscellaneous items that I would never buy for myself. One thing however I would never buy and I really didn't even want to take. Although I don't care much for it, Andi however adores it. It is her new best friend. Something she calls her lady and this is how much she loves it.
This is the image I came home to Sunday night after my movie date with my mom:
She comes with arms and legs, but Andi really just prefers the body.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Racist!
I like romance, I like fiction, I like fiction that seems non-fiction. I like some mystery, but not a complete mystery. I love Jodi Piccoult. But what I do not like about her is sometimes she gets too much into the Indian culture. Not that I am not interested in Indians, it is just too much and I end up skimming about ancient Indian folklore. I am just trying to get you to understand what I mean. I love the here and now. I love Nicholas Sparks even though I spend the entire time rolling my eyes and saying "yeah right", I still have to get his books the minute they hit the shelf. After reading "The Notebook" many moons ago, I am and will always be a devout follower of him.
A few times I have branched out and have been pleasantly surprised. I read "Memoirs of a Geisha", and loved it. I love "Little Women". I loved "House of Sand and Fog". And recently I branched out further than I have ever imagined. I read sci fi. I HATE sci fi. I absolutely HATE it, I will not read Harry Potter, I hate Star Wars, I will not watch LOTR, just not my style. But my friend Kim was obsessed with this trilogy and since she was also HP obsessed, I ignored her at first (love ya Kim!) but then after awhile I was intrigued. So I read "Twilight" and I just finished the second "New Moon" and look forward to the third "Eclipse" after I finish "Emma and me". I LOVE this trilogy, but it is because although it technically is sci fi, the main character is a human and the fact she is in love with a vampire and his family is totally believable in this book. So much, it has me dreaming of a little vampire loving.
I DO have a point to all this ramblings, it just takes awhile for me to get around to it.
I don't like reading about other cultures, call me shallow, it just doesn't intrigue me and don't judge me on that either, my dad is an immigrant. I also don't like centuries old stories, I don't like difficult dialect. I am picky. I like what I like and my "circle" knows this. So picture us four eating lunch at a Chinese Restaurant. (I love other cultures foods thank you very much) and we are talking about books. My mom and sister are discussing "The Kite Runner" and my mom said that I would like it and my sister blurts out very loudly, "But Kim hates other cultures!" My eyes go huge as I search for our dear waitress, thankful she is nowhere to be seen and give my sister the eye and say "I love other cultures! I just don't like READING about them" Then quietly say "are you kidding me? Do you know where we are!?" We all start laughing like little school girls and hoped the booth next to us was very hard of hearing.
Wow that was a lot of build up for not a great story. My apologizes. I will do better tomorrow.
Friday, November 02, 2007
When Life Hands You Lemons.....

Yes I did it again. Remember I said I make lots of mistakes, hang around awhile and you can see them all. But I really like it and that is all that matters.
It was funny, interesting, not so much ha ha, when my Gyno was feeling me up he says... "I like that, no one knows better how to make lemonade than you". I said "thanks, now go knuckles deep and tell me what you think about my ankle tattoo". Well I really stopped at thanks, but can you imagine.
Have a fab weekend! I know we will, we are going to a fancy dinner to support the FBC that I miss so very much! It was sad not taking Andi to visit Lily on Halloween this year and going trick or treating with all our old friends... sniff, sniff.
I will try to remember to take pictures of myself wearing make up!!!!!!
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Hip Hip Hooray
Hip Hip Hooray! Mother of the Year!
Speaking of epilepsy I encourage all of you to venture over to
she has some great videos of her daughter, very similar to Lily, Janelle having seizures. Kelly is out there educating and sharing something I can't stomach to. Good work Kelly!
Just Pix Today
This is Joey and Andi pumpkin painting

Daddy painted on Lily's face after we were all done with the pumpkins!

Here is Lily, Spiderman (Joey) and Andi as Cinderella at the 2nd party a dress up party we totally did half ass

Here is Andi as Tinkerbell yesterday morning, so cute from the torso up
Here's the future stylist to the stars

Here are the girls last night. Andi decided she would be a black cat at the last minute and considering it was face paint on either Lily or Andi we decided Andi would sit thru the torture far better than Lily would. Plus the mermaid fit Lily better. Glad I am one of those moms who actually put time in to costumes.



Here we all are Trick or Treating
We had a great time! Lots of Fun!!




