Still here

Hey folks I'm still here. Baby is not. Even though I was so excited and encouraged to hear 50% effaced and 2m dilated on Tuesday, it is Saturday and nothing is happening. That is ok though, I have stuff on Ebay that ends today and I need to send those out. Tomorrow is Super Bowl so I don't think we should be at the hospital then. Although if the game is anything like 2 weeks ago I may just burst my water stressing (GO CARDS!!!). Monday I am so busy with Lily and her therapies that maybe Tuesday would be best. Well anyway it goes, I am scheduled for a c-section on Friday the 6th at 6am and have to be there at 4am. Sigh.
I'd love to at least attempt a VBAC before hand so we will be doing some cervix softening the natural way... yeah baby.... and doing some walking...walking...walking... oh and of course stressing out watching the game tomorrow. Can you believe the AZ Cardinals are in the Super Bowl, it is beyond exciting for us natives here?!
I have been so busy at work trying to pass the payroll torch to my sister, who had the position 6 years ago, things have changed in 6 years so we've been working together so she knows everything I did and wouldn't you know they computer would crash in the middle of all that? I think I worked more hours last week than I had the entire year. But what else would I be doing laying down with my feet up? Please. I feel comfortable now though leaving. And so excited that when I do start working again I will be doing a far less stressful job from HOME! Woo Woo! I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom and this is going to be awesome! [computer says wait to hear how she thinks about this whole thing 6 months from now] Did my computer just say something? No, that isn't possible.
So folks I leave you and when I return I could be a human milk factory, or I could be just as I am today, just bigger and crabbier.

Can you believe we are hear already? Wasn't it just June when we returned from NYC and I said guess what?!?! Where does the time go?

It's getting hot in here

I have had night sweats. I had them something awful after Andi. I live in AZ. I get warm, when it's warm. But hot flashes? I thought those are reserved for women in their 50's.
I have been over whelmed by these damn things that overcome me several times a day.
Like hard core. Minding my own business then boom, sweating, red face, all over an uncontrollable wave of heat that makes me go mad. I was getting my hair done today, you know gotta take care of myself before I hand my life over to a boob sucking, sleep taking little adorable monster, while I am sitting there getting foils put in it comes on. I tell my guy oh no... I start fanning my face and said "hot flash". He says "you're not gonna pass out right?" I didn't answer at first and he said "uh oh" I said, "no". But seriously I loose train of thought. All I want is a pool to jump into. He sarcastically said "I keep it at 68, I know that is a little warm" I said "it could be 20 and this would happen." Boy oh boy I am ready for this baby. I can take the night sweats, it's the flashes that are really uncomfortable... can't wait for menopause.

Dream Weaver

So it was brought to my attention from my husband that I mentioned an ex boyfriend in my sleep the other night. "What?" I asked horrified, "who?" He said B, I said "whatever B is my brothers name" and then he went on to the part that he asked me in my sleep "B who?" and I said B.T. T is not my brothers last name and unfortunately IS the last initial of said ex. Wow. My face was red. I stammered, "I know I didn't have one of those dreams, I wake up blushing from those." I couldn't figure out why I said that. And was I ever red.
I was fortunate to have had a non jealous reaction from my non jealous husband, but did I ever get crap for the rest of the day. My ears burned each time I called him and he'd answer "This is B". Oh God! It was awful!
But it does bother me that I did that. B wasn't really a boyfriend, boyfriend. We dated, we had fun. I tried to catch him by the toe, but he hollered so I let him go. I did recently spend a day reading my diary from my early 20's and this person was mentioned quite a bit so I am sure that could be some of the reasons and the fact that my brother in law ran into him and he asked about me and my brother in law told my husband who in turn told me about it.
I guess the memories were fresh? I don't know.
I do thank my hubby for being so good about it. I can't say I would react the same. I would have been pissed to hear some other name out of his mouth in his slumber.
Sigh.
By the way, that journal from my 20's is a good read. I have been tempted to just write it all down here, but then I would really be opening myself up. I wasn't the best person back then and that would be admitting and sharing what kind of person I was. It would also show who I am now, but I just don't know. Maybe after the baby and I have no writing material at all. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

Shower me!

I had my shower yesterday and it was fabulous! My mom goes above and beyond everything she does and this was no exception! What a blast! I had over 35 guests! I got just about everything I needed and just need to do some running this week to finish up the rest! Not too bad for 37 weeks hu?
I'm getting so excited! I am also rethinking the whole VBAC thing. I go in on Tues and get checked. I am thinking if I am not anything, I may just schedule the c-section. I can't help but think if something goes wrong, it didn't have to. Plus I saw the childs head on the ultra sound.
Besides, I have never gone into labor on my own, the odds of doing it before my due date is rare.
Anyway, I will have my appointment and then make my decision.

Hummus ???

So I gave into another frosting craving the other night. I brought the tub to bed with me, plus graham cracker and some milk, my hands were full. I waddle into the room, set everything down nicely on my bed stand and slowly put my big self into bed. I get my pillows all situated under me, put the frosting tub on my belly (my food holder), pulled out my knife and started frosting my graham cracker. All this time Andrew is watching me and my ritual. I finally look over at him and say "what?" He asks "What are you eating?" I said "Hummus".
He just looks at me, my tub of frosting and looks back at Anthony Bourdain.

What? I felt better about myself just thinking it was hummus.

Hey I have an idea....

How about no more effing dogs! I have spent this morning taking "too scared to go outside alone Geri(atrics)" out to poo and pee several times. Cleaning (gagging) up "too old and lazy to go outside Hailey" puke. Yelling at "too hyper to ever just re-freaking-ax Fiona". Oh plus spent over 15 minutes picking up dog poo outside and washing the walls that old Hailey likes to rub her dirty body against.
Sigh. Andrew is snowboarding. I said he could go one weekend and it had to be this weekend before I am technically full term. But it isn't the kids I need help with, it is the house full of dogs that is totally wearing on me.
I am not going anywhere since I am having a hard time carrying Lily. I did have to bathe her myself this morning and I really need Andrew's help with that. But she needed a bath so I did it.
I'm tired.
Go Cards!

Once upon a time...

January used to be a big month for me modeling here in Phoenix (locally). January I had something each weekend. There is the big bridal show, the Barrett Jackson Car auction and the Phoenix Open (FBR). This of course was all before I had Lily and got too busy and unable to do all this. Nothing to do with my body ok, I still totally could have done it, I was just overloaded with Lily and all that entailed with her those first few years. Alright?!
So all these commercials were playing yesterday, first the car auction. I sighed to myself, I used to work the VIP tent there wearing million dollar jewels trying to sell them to guys who just bought million dollar cars.... Andrew said said something about he remembered those days as well and I said that was 2.5 kids ago.... sigh...
We go about doing our thing and then a commercial comes on for the FBR Open and I sigh again, "I used to work the VIP tents meeting people such as Steve Young and others".... then Andrew says "that was three tubs of frosting ago." He was kidding and we both laughed. Well after I called him a jerk.
So what! I finally gave into my craving and got the tub of frosting out and sat and ate graham crackers and frosting, I had to, it was screaming at me from the fridge.
But I laughed and told Andrew just how lucky he is that I can take his jokes in stride and how most other 8 month pregnant wives might not think that was so funny.
But I did. It was. And the frosting was good. And those jobs weren't that cool. My kids are way cooler.