Head Wound Harry

Andi: Mom why are you taking a picture of my prince?
Me: Because he looks like Head Wound Harry
Andi: He's not Headwooned Harry mom, he is a prince.
Me: I think he looks like Head Wound Harry
Andi: Ok well then can we call him Prince Headwooned Harry?
Me: Deal

Oh Really??

I've mentioned awhile back about my loss of my one and only blackberry. I miss her so. It seems to be rubbed in my face lately and I don't take it lightly.
My dad yesterday asked me what my high score on brick breaker was... ahem... no brick breaker, dad.
My BFF was telling me how she could spend all day on hers.
Last night hubby said "did you know that there is an app for my blackberry that acts as a radar detector?"
"Oh really? Want to know what app my phone has? Someone dials my number and it rings."

Be A Star

As I grew up I had one dream that I knew would be hard to reach, but not impossible. I wanted to be on the cover of People magazine. When I was young I always saw super stars, amazing people, beautiful people gracing that cover. You had to be pretty special to make that cover. I thought I could have my wedding to Brad Pitt be covered and our first baby....what I didn't know was all I had to do is have a bunch of babies at one time. I mean the $10k to get invitro is merely an investment that will be paid back plus when I have the TV show, the book deals, and of course reaching my lifetime goal, People Magazine cover.

Break up?

It's not you, it's me. You're great, really, I just. Well, it's hard to say. I'm just not "feeling" it lately. I'm sorry.
All kidding aside, holy crap this 3rd kid has done me in and all my blogging! I do my best to keep up with Lily's site and this one, well it's the red headed step child. My apologies to all the red headed step children out there.
Being a stay at home mom to three kids is wowza. And one is in school. I can't wait to see what awaits me this summer. If the baby is sleeping I may actually shower and shave. Other times I clean instead. The house. I'm trying to keep up with the house work and myself, but damn if it ain't hard!
Now that it is a million degrees outside I have Andi begging to go swimming from 7am 0n. Seriously 7am. So if I get the baby down it is a choice between cleaning, showering or swimming.
Swimming usually wins, now if I could just shave and shampoo in the pool I would at least kill two birds. My apologies to the birds, bad analogy.
I like how I am apologizing considering I doubt anyone reads this thing anymore, which brings me to two choices. Take a break, make it public and not worry about it in the middle of the night when I really should be sleeping considering I am still only getting 3-4 hour stretches at a time. Or just come on here when I feel the need to purge. Like I could have Mother's Day. Andrew had knee surgery and was laid up. Totally not his fault. He did what he could, but it was pretty big surgery. So I had to take care of him, plus a special needs 6 year old who decided to have a spider bite on. her. eye! Her eye swelled up like a balloon! It was so scary. I also have a needy 3 month old, of course. And the only other human being in my home that can actually do something for herself really would rather me do it all, all the while being attached to my hip and needing surgical removal.
Sigh.
Yeah I'll keep this up just so I can do that.

5 second rule

We were at my OB apt on Monday (Andrew, Andi and myself) and our witty Dr. handed Andi a sucker and she took off the wrapper and accidentally dropped it on the floor. She bent down to pick it up and the Dr. said "Oh No! The 5 second rule does NOT apply at a Gynecologist's floor".
Gross

Still pregnant

Hummus ???

So I gave into another frosting craving the other night. I brought the tub to bed with me, plus graham cracker and some milk, my hands were full. I waddle into the room, set everything down nicely on my bed stand and slowly put my big self into bed. I get my pillows all situated under me, put the frosting tub on my belly (my food holder), pulled out my knife and started frosting my graham cracker. All this time Andrew is watching me and my ritual. I finally look over at him and say "what?" He asks "What are you eating?" I said "Hummus".
He just looks at me, my tub of frosting and looks back at Anthony Bourdain.

What? I felt better about myself just thinking it was hummus.

Just a note

For all of you aspiring authors, myself included, just try writing a freaking Christmas letter and see if you still want to write a book. Nothing more aggravating than writing and editing and writing and editing. It would be easier if we weren't so interesting.

Twlight

Ok I'll admit it. I wanna see it. I was going to wait until Monday to avoid the crazy kids, but I am not sure I can.
Kibberts got me hooked on those books over a year ago. And I admit I kinda wanted some vampire lovin. This is so not my genera of books. This is so not my style. But I love the books and can't wait to see the movie. I may end up in line with all the crazy kids and pretend to be their mom or something.

Traveling

Let me just say traveling with a fully abled 3 year old is the easiest thing I have ever done. We were gone for a weekend, flew on Fri and flew back on Sunday and never had one issue. Strangers thought she was the cutest, sweetest thing around and I was pretty proud.
Not sure I'll ever go back to traveling with more than one again. Oh that is right I am pregnant.... with our third.
Well I still don't have to travel with them all, do I?

I can't believe next week is Thanksgiving and it is still in the 80's. Sigh.
Global warming?

Loved

So Andrew got these tickets to The Cards Monday Night Football game back in Sept. He has been talking about it and has been over joyed for this day. He said I must attend with him and he was inviting one of his closest friends and his wife (whom I love). So I said "sure" thinking Nov. 10th is far away and whatever. Well as the time got closer I started doing my usual duck and cover figuring ways to weasel out. I said maybe he should go with "the guys", when that didn't work I threw the whole no babysitter routine, to where his response was get on the phone with our niece and plan her stay the night (worked out great with a holiday today) so I was stuck. The game started at 6:30pm, it is on the other side of the state, might as well be CA so I knew this would be a long night. What I didn't realize was how many freaking commercial breaks they need for a MNF game. I mean seriously. I tend to do math when I am in situations out of my control as a way to figure out how much longer I will be there and go from there. I figured it took 45 minutes to play 15 minutes of football the first two quarters, the third went by nicely at less than 45 min THEN WTH the 4th quarter was worse than paint drying. Ok not really, it was in all reality an awesome game, but a flag was thrown on almost every play the entire last qtr, it took more than 30 min to play 4 minutes of football. I am not exaggerating. I am pregnant. I wake up with kids through out the night. I was tired, cold and uncomfortable. Yes it was a good game. Cards won, barely. Kurt Warner is incredibly hot, yes those are true facts, but to take 4 hours to play 1 hour of football is beyond ridiculous. And yes I said I was cold. The roof was open and it was a bit chilly. I have no idea how the Packers fans sit out in that weather and cheer on their team. I mean it was down near 60 degrees last night. I was cold!
So I had a lot to think about while I sat there for 4 hours, of course not while they were actually playing, but while the refs went flag crazy, and the commercial breaks were taken and the breaks by the teams.... I thought about how fast this pregnancy is going and I got sad. Baby Ollie was a mad man during the game and I couldn't help but think, will I be on the side lines watching him one day, of course God willing... still waiting for those test results that I feel could make this pregnancy be very stressful. But again God willing, will I be watching my baby boy play football one day? Or soccer or whatever he chooses, but he will choose one day. This is the last time I will be punched in the rib, tickled on my sides and kicked in my bladder. This is the only time he will be all mine, all the time and that made me sad. With the girls I just wanted the pregnancy to be over, I wanted to hold my baby, and I do want to hold him, but I think when there is a finality of knowing you will never experience this amazing feeling, then you really don't want it to go away. I truly do love the feeling of growing a child. That is a weird way of putting it, but that is what happens when a seed is planted, right? And well that is what happened. So anyway I thought about that. Then I was watching the filmographers next to us and saw a guy using actual film and that brought up so many old memories. I remember watching a special talking about how NFL is the only sports organization to still use actual film and it was interesting to see if be done. I was thinking about how in 8th grade my photography class we had to use those black bags you put your arms in the put film into. I was thinking about the dark room and the smells and how much fun that class was. And I wondered what do they do in photography class now? It is all digital, do kids even get to develop their film? Then I thought man I am old. I took typing on an actual type writer and I actually developed my own film in photography. Then I thought about how when I modeled it was shoot and hope you get it. You would have to wait for the film to be developed and get a call that said "we got it!" or "we need to re shoot!" I thought about how glad I am that when I modeled it was the 90's and I was allowed to have hips and be a *gasp* size 6!
I thought about the fact that even though I wasn't doing what I wanted to be doing. I wanted to be in bed. I wanted to have put my kids in their beds. But my husband wanted me to be with him and share in his excitement. He wanted me, not his buddies, me. And that thought made me hold his hand and kiss his cheek.
I felt lucky. I felt loved.
And even at a time that I wasn't my happiest. At a time that I feel there is this cloud over me and until I get the results it will be there and I don't want to think about the results if they aren't what I want. All that didn't matter. Doesn't matter. I'm loved. Whatever happens we will make it through and isn't that all that really matters?

Office Humor

I was waiting for a co-worker to fill up her water bottle before I could fill up my uber earth friendly styrofoam cup and I said "You know that is no longer smart water." She says "I know" then I said "I think it is now dumb water." She laughed.

And I thought...

And I thought I had a lot on my mind before keeping me up at night... sigh....

There is so much I'd like to say, but at this point it is impossible to have two cohesive thoughts that make any sense. So let me just show you how either poorly I speak, or how poorly the Starbucks barista hears....

I say Kim you say Pam, tomato tomato.

My ingenious is shocking

I never claimed to be the brightest light on the Christmas tree, but I don't think I am totally ditsy, but sometimes I can shock myself. And I don't think it is cute to be Jessica Simpson ditsy, ok yeah I do think it is cute, but it isn't how I work. I do tend to let's just say, not think all the time before I act and I am pretty sure that at times might make me look a little less "there".
Today was one of those day. I was running late getting out of the house and didn't eat breakfast. I drop off Andi and stop at Starbucks and get my favorite drink non fat pumpkin spice latte with whip and since I was hungry I said throw in a blueberry muffin. I get back in my car, listen along with the radio. Giggle with the morning show. Call a friend and chat and then pull into the Dr. office. I am a few minutes early, they get me right in and say "here drink this, you got 5 minutes". Now it isn't that I forgot today was my glucose test, it was just that I didn't so much to think hey a boatload of sugar is probably not the best thing to ingest right before another boatload of sugar to hey what else but check my sugar. Sigh....
I told my Dr. with a sweet smile, and this was after crying about a 10 pound weight gain in a freaking month, 10 pounds in a month, 10 pounds in a month, that I didn't think and had Starbucks before I came. He said "well do you put sugar in your coffee?" and I smiled at that cute comment and thought awww he saves so much money a year by not understanding what I meant by "I had Starbucks this morning". I again said well it isn't really just coffee is a large amount of syrup added to my coffee along with skim milk and whipped cream. Oh he said, well you weren't supposed to fast, but that may make your test come back high and we will have to do it again. I again smiled and apologized and coughed into my hand and said "I also had a blueberry muffin". He just looks at me and I know he is thinking, and she has the nerve to complain about a 10 lb weight gain in a month.
Sigh... so we will see what happens. All is well. He said Zantac is totally fine, good thing since we are going to buy stock in it. You all might want to as well.... I still have technically 15 more weeks and I can't go a night with out it.
Hey someone has to stimulate this economy!
Speaking of that, last night I had to say this:
"We're in a recession, you don't need sprinkles!"
Who was I saying that too???

Come back.

So yesterday I drove 40 miles round trip for nothing but a "apple pie carmel apple" from what Kibberts lovingly calls "Scarizona Mills". It is an outlet mall that well, it is scary. But I didn't want to go 60 miles round trip and go to Scottsdale mall with the store A Pea in a Pod that I would be tempted with, so I went and I conquered. And if this is what I do when my family is gone, bring em back. Please.

Open minded"ness"

So last night Andrew says to me "just try to be open minded" and I say "oookaaaay".
We weren't talking about the upcoming election. We weren't discussing religion, no he was asking me to be open minded in watching "Don't mess with the Zohan".
I tried, but no.

Mr. Sandman...

Hey Mr. Sandman..... I'm calling to you again. Please come. I don't even care if you bring me a dream, just please hit me over the head and knock me out. Please.
Andi has a bad cough and as we parents (mothers) know that makes sleeping thru the night difficult for little ones and the last two nights the little weasel snuck in our bed and before I realized she was there I was smooched into Andrew and a dog that is not supposed to be on my bed, making a mess of it!
Every time she jumps up I yell get down and she does, but then she tries again and I swear she waits to hear me deep breathing and then jumps on my bed with her nasty butt. And how am I going to put a diaper on a dog that you can't touch with out her going insane. She is the most hyper thing in the world. And if I were able to hold her still long enough she would just run around until it fell off and eat it because that is the kind of dog she is. I am still contemplating craigslist for her future.
So anyway it is around 2 am and I realize Andi is in our bed, putting me in the middle. I have a growing belly that makes positioning hard enough then smooch me between to bed hogs and then realize bloody dog is curled into my legs. UGH! Frustration takes over and after tossing and turning I retire to the couch. Everyone else sleeps peacefully.
I want to hurt someone.
Forgive the sucky blog.... I'm tired.
Happy freaking weekend. I will try to get some work done and post some before and afters. I have a lot to do!

It's not my fault

So don't you love that phrase, "it's not my fault"? Well really it isn't. I have no computer at home, that is my husbands fault. And I can't go to work but two days a week for the next two weeks and that is Lily's schools fault. They think modified year round schedule is awesome and I happen to disagree.
So there! I only have enough nursing hours for 2 full days so those days are Wed and Fri and those will be working/blogging/online shopping/internet surfing/kid break... days.
So I think instead of telling you some long juicy story about my neighbor slobbering on my husband. Or trying to. I think I would rather post about a whole lot of nothings that happen to be on my mind.

First matter to attend to, I have gotten a real taste of what happens you when procrastinate at the wrong time. Let's just say Fiona, our "puppy", needs a tampon. OMG NASTY! OMG! I had a heart attack last night when she kept trying to get on my bed. I don't go wasting money on many things, but a couple years back Andrew and I paid $1000 for Ralph Lauren bedding that was worth every penny. You will not find a more comfortable comforter than ours and the fact that horny little bleeding dog wanted on my bed was enough to cause me a huge lack in sleep. And to make matters worse, she was trying to cuddle on my blanket that was originally $200 at a boutique that was going out of business and I grabbed for 75% off. You don't know a heavenly blanket until you wrap yourself up in that baby. And that dog thought she needed. Oh hell no!
See I am fully aware that you should spay your dog before they are fertile. But our vet quoted us a price of $500. I'm sorry. She is a dog. I won't spend $500 on a medical treatment for myself. **You are saying but you spent $1000 on bedding, well that was a few years ago and being in construction business was prosperous. Well guess what, construction is the last damn thing you want to be in business with now so yes at one time we could afford luxuries like that and I am so glad we did, because who knows when we will again. **Hell these days I won't spend $25 on a pedi. So sorry I am not putting $500 on my credit card. Well then one day I found a mailer for a spay/neuter clinic. They don't offer all the spa treatments along with the spay job and it is about $75. Ok that is more like it. Still not what I want to do, but it obviously has to be done. Well I called them and they can't get her in until 10/23! Ugh! So let's just pray we can prevent her from getting knocked up in the meantime... can't promise to go all pro life if something does happen... I'm just saying.

**Second matter up on my mind. My dream last night. I know that is when readers go and read a new blog the minute they see "let me tell you about my dream" but just read it. It is funny. Or weird. Or creepy. Or something.
We were all watching Andi do a little dance and we were all laughing and then I feel the baby move, but it hurts and I look down and his face is coming out of my stomach, he is still under my skin but we can see his face and all he was trying to do was see what Andi was doing. I was trying to push him back but being a little freaked about brains and stuff I didn't want to cause any damage by pushing him back.
Just what Andi wants, all eyes on her, at all times. Even if the little human doesn't quite really have eyes that work yet. Gross.

**Third matter. I sold my tickets. Thanks for all your concern. I know you were all thinking of my situation constantly and I hope that eases your concern.

**Fourth matter. Here at work they have this little program here, I am pretty sure I have complained before about. I know you all know my dad is my boss, but he is the boss, boss. There are people under him that are above me (the nerve) and the one guy here has a program that awards everyone for good work. Well there is a little sign up with every ones names and people get their boxes highlighted for doing their chores or whatever. Anyway there happens to be 3 people not highlighted. Guess who got laid off? Two of those three. Guess who is the third?
So what if I am not a team player. Everyone gets their check and it is right and I am pretty sure, money talks.
Other wise I may post another Craigslist listing , something like this.
**Pregnant mom of two (soon to be three) needs a job. It has to be flexible enough for her to be able to take off for her daughters dr. apts, therapy, and of course fall break. Skills are well... she can type. She knows Excel oh and Word. And can write a mean blog once a week. She can make coffee, but does not run errands. She can add pretty well with an adding machine, but don't ask her for percentages. She prefers $750 a week plus vehicle and gas. Plus she will not come in more than 3 days a week. Any takers?

**and my fifth and last matter of the heart is maternity clothes. Why is it that the first two go arounds I couldn't wait for the ugly stuff. I went to the boutiques, A Pea in a Pod, etc. I think I even ate a little more than I needed to just to fit in it earlier. I just didn't realize that was a sure way to "show" in my ass, not my belly. This go at it I am totally avoiding the baby doll shirts and awful pants. I got my jeans via Ebay that I really wanted yet the seller listed the wrong size and they are a size too big and I have to have one of those belly bands just to keep them up. They are my favorite though. Citizens. There are no better maternity jeans than Citizens and I got them for a hundred less than I would have on Nordstrom.com. But I am getting away with flowy tops from the "regular" stores. I don't need it to say maternity for it to fit. I went to Gap.com today b/c I got a great code for three days only where they have 30% off brand spanking new clothes. I honestly had a hard time finding much. I did like some long cords that I will order on Friday, but that was about it. The sweaters weren't all that long and I think I can do better at Forever 21 and spend $20 less a top.

Humm... I bet you all are thinking, I hope she goes back into hiding.

Every light in the house is on...

Ever hear that old country song? Well old for us in our 20's. (I will claim to be in my 20's until the day I am kicked out of it. I'm holding strong. For 3 months. Or a little less. Nonetheless I'm hanging on, hear my nails digging?)
Anyway the song is by Trace Adkins and goes a little like this "Every light in the house is on, The backyard's bright as the crack of dawn, The front walk looks like runway lights, It's kinda like noon in the dead of night. Every light in the house is on just in case you ever do get tired of being gone, Every light in the house is on".
Well I think that was Andrew's intention last night when I got home from Grey's night at Kibberts.
I walk in at 10:15pm and literally every light was on. Every TV set was on. I think he really thought I might not be able to find my way back home.
Remember when I said we had an electric bill of over $400? Yeah I wonder whose at fault there.
Sigh.

By the way, I want you all to know I am funny. Really I am. Back story first.

I work in Mesa. People who grew up here and got away from here don't really like it here. Mesa is a weird town. It is hard to describe, well without sounding like I am placing stereotypes and God forbid I ever offend annon again who ripped me a new one a few months back. But Mesa has a big Temple. I hear it is the second most visited place in AZ next to the Grand Canyon. I like the Mormons, they keep the place clean all around it. They have a beautiful Temple that is unfortunately is in Mesa. Mesa used to be heavily populated with Mormons, but they even got out of dodge. Well most of them. And mostly what is left here, I mean downtown, not east or north Mesa, just plain old Mesa, are crack heads and um, well people who came from another country, most likely not legally. If you can buy a pizza with Pecos in Mesa, I'm just saying...
Anyway, so that is what Mesa is pretty much consistent of. Some call is Metha and some call is Mexica. I call it ugh, Mesa. By the way I grew up here. Spent 15 years in the same house. I am not knocking something that is of me. I even have my my facebook profile, hometown Mesa. I don't deny it. But what is left is still Mormons in the office here and crack heads living here. So the laws are a bit effed up and a business trying to get a liquor license is like trying to get a monkey to sit still and take notes in class. So when Kibberts texts me this AM, "want any coffee while I'm in Mesa" I reply, "you'll have an easier time finding a crackpipe than a starbucks."

See I'm funny.

Don't worry I am prejudice against Phoenix too. Once Kibberts texted me "hey I'm in Phoenix, need anything" (yeah she gets around) I simply replied "yeah an 8 ball."
And she brought me one.

She is funny too. When we went to Motherhood the other day, I just wanted a band to go around my belly so I can still wear my jeans. I just can't bring myself to wear maternity that looks maternity. Anyway the register gal asks me if I have been there before, I said "not with this pregnancy" she said "has anything changed?" and before I could say no, Kibberts says "you mean besides the babies daddy?" I laughed and for some reason the sales lady didn't. Maybe we offended her too.

Alright annon let er rip...

Two cheers

Two cheers for September! Although it sure don't feel like fall here yet, at least Starbucks is in the spirit! They brought back pumpkin spice lattes! Woo hooo!

I posted a monster birthday post to Lily on her blog so I am done blogging for today.

What to say....

I am in a bit of a block. We are leaving tomorrow for the wedding in Playa del Carmen (Cancun).
I am excited, but I am nervous as well. It is far away. I am not great with geography and just booked the trip thinking Mexico is a two hour flight at the most. I mean we live in AZ, Mexico is a 3 hour drive. I had no idea Cancun was so far away! Plus a little nervous about hurricanes and Andrew and I both being gone and on the same plane.... sigh.... I am a bit of a worry wart.
Money is really tight right now and I can't help but think this is the last thing we need to do before baby comes, but then again, it is already paid for and the place is all inclusive, if we didn't go we'd just be out $$ and sitting on our butts.
I love my friend getting married and her fiance is a really cool guy! I really can't wait to see them get married, I know she has waited a long time for this and so deserves this!
I am just worried. I worry about my mother in law getting around town with the kids, she is not from here. I know she is totally competent, I just worry. Lily is having a seizure or two a day.. so I worry.
Sigh....
I took a yoga class on Monday night and being a little bit competitive I tried every advance pose (of course within caution of the belly) but ooohhh I am sore in places I didn't know could be sore.
I am going again tonight, I hadn't slept like that in ages! This time Kibberts is joining me and I can't wait to have a buddy this time around. Everything is more fun with a friend.
Please say a little prayer for me.... "Say a little prayer for you" or of course for your heathens send me good vibes, comforting vibes. And safe plane ride vibes... our kids need us! Oh and no shark attacks, well they can attack Andrew, just not me... oh and no horrible hurricanes... oh and maybe for my friend a sunny wedding day.....
I know I am a cluster F of crap today, but that is what my brain goes through every night.

Go USA!!!!