Sunshine and Coke

I had such a great morning! First I am wearing prepreg jeans just unzipped and unbuttoned with the belly band. They fit and look so much better than maternity. Then I got to leave at 8am, Andrew was able to wait until 8:30am for our nurse to come watch Lily. Lily has been off since last week and will continue to be off school until next Wed.! I am not a huge fan of modified year round schooling. So then I dropped off Andi at pre k and she was actually happy to go. Then I stopped at Starbucks to treat myself since I had to drive all the way to Phoenix to drop off the meds for the study that Lily was in, I forgot them on Monday when we went. Remember organization skills, not so hot. So I get to Starbucks and the line is short. That alone could make my day. Then they made my drink fast and the check out girl said "Your shirt is hilarious!" (thanks Kibberts) then while waiting for my bagel the other gal says, "that shirt is just too cute!" I thank them and walk out the door which was being held open waiting for me to come thru by some nice young girl, I smiled and thanked her and returned the favor to the barista whom was cleaning outside and was coming back in. He smiled and thanked me. I got in my car and just smiled. I thought man that was a freaking coke commerical!
Then I get in my car and head to Phoenix. A local radio show kept me laughing and when I saw a sign saying "Photo Radar Ahead" I slow from 70 mph to 65 mph and apparently Ms. Hotpants didn't like that and cruised around me and flash! Ha! Ha! Freaking Ha! I pointed and laughed at her, but she didn't see me. Ha!
I get to the hospital and see 15 min parking spots that would save me dealing with the parking garage. I thought sweet and parked. Ran in and the only frustration I experienced at all this morning was the lack of golden rules people seem to ignore. I get on an empty elevator and go to the 4th floor. The door opens and when I try to step out there is a family of 4 walking in, totally blocking my way of getting out. I am thinking, wait isn't that a golden rule that everyone knows and follows? You wait for the person to get off, I even hold the door if they have a wheelchair or stroller and then you get on. Well whatever I shake it off and head to the office. Hand over the meds to the front desk gal and say I forgot these or whatever and she says "what is the patients name" and I said, "she is in the study, they don't have names in the study she is #7009." So then I get back on an empty elevator and wouldn't you know when I come off the thing on the first floor and lady with a newborn baby just rushes in and following her was at least 4 other women. I was like really? Seriously? You all aren't going to let me get off? Where am I? So I don't know about you all, but don't you wait? Don't you grab your kids and not let them go on the elevator until others get off? Am I crazy? Am I snobby? Anyway it didn't matter I had a good morning and those classless folks ain't getting me down.

Every light in the house is on...

Ever hear that old country song? Well old for us in our 20's. (I will claim to be in my 20's until the day I am kicked out of it. I'm holding strong. For 3 months. Or a little less. Nonetheless I'm hanging on, hear my nails digging?)
Anyway the song is by Trace Adkins and goes a little like this "Every light in the house is on, The backyard's bright as the crack of dawn, The front walk looks like runway lights, It's kinda like noon in the dead of night. Every light in the house is on just in case you ever do get tired of being gone, Every light in the house is on".
Well I think that was Andrew's intention last night when I got home from Grey's night at Kibberts.
I walk in at 10:15pm and literally every light was on. Every TV set was on. I think he really thought I might not be able to find my way back home.
Remember when I said we had an electric bill of over $400? Yeah I wonder whose at fault there.
Sigh.

By the way, I want you all to know I am funny. Really I am. Back story first.

I work in Mesa. People who grew up here and got away from here don't really like it here. Mesa is a weird town. It is hard to describe, well without sounding like I am placing stereotypes and God forbid I ever offend annon again who ripped me a new one a few months back. But Mesa has a big Temple. I hear it is the second most visited place in AZ next to the Grand Canyon. I like the Mormons, they keep the place clean all around it. They have a beautiful Temple that is unfortunately is in Mesa. Mesa used to be heavily populated with Mormons, but they even got out of dodge. Well most of them. And mostly what is left here, I mean downtown, not east or north Mesa, just plain old Mesa, are crack heads and um, well people who came from another country, most likely not legally. If you can buy a pizza with Pecos in Mesa, I'm just saying...
Anyway, so that is what Mesa is pretty much consistent of. Some call is Metha and some call is Mexica. I call it ugh, Mesa. By the way I grew up here. Spent 15 years in the same house. I am not knocking something that is of me. I even have my my facebook profile, hometown Mesa. I don't deny it. But what is left is still Mormons in the office here and crack heads living here. So the laws are a bit effed up and a business trying to get a liquor license is like trying to get a monkey to sit still and take notes in class. So when Kibberts texts me this AM, "want any coffee while I'm in Mesa" I reply, "you'll have an easier time finding a crackpipe than a starbucks."

See I'm funny.

Don't worry I am prejudice against Phoenix too. Once Kibberts texted me "hey I'm in Phoenix, need anything" (yeah she gets around) I simply replied "yeah an 8 ball."
And she brought me one.

She is funny too. When we went to Motherhood the other day, I just wanted a band to go around my belly so I can still wear my jeans. I just can't bring myself to wear maternity that looks maternity. Anyway the register gal asks me if I have been there before, I said "not with this pregnancy" she said "has anything changed?" and before I could say no, Kibberts says "you mean besides the babies daddy?" I laughed and for some reason the sales lady didn't. Maybe we offended her too.

Alright annon let er rip...

Tidbits of Nothing

I saw Mama Mia again on Saturday and I still want to go again. I am like a teenager when Titanic came out.

I am really starting to look puffy. I have to already unbutton my jeans. Sigh.

My computer was a c tease this weekend. I had internet all day Saturday yet when my jeans I wanted on Ebay (Citizens Maternity Jeans, not altered(!)) were at the end of the auction, internet was totally a goner. I had Kibberts bid for me and she had never Ebayed before and I told her no more than $88 (I know, but those are like $175 new), but she got some kind of fever and bid $90 for me and was outbid for $91. She got all crazy and is now hell bent to make this woman's (or mans, not judging) Ebay life miserable. She is crazy. I still have time before I need those jeans, this is why I am looking early, it will take awhile to find them under $90.

My cousin had her cute little baby yesterday. She is so sweet and I can't believe I will have one of those in six months! Wow!

I'm having a hard time deciding on a VBAC or another C-section. I really did not like my c-section, I know tons of women just love them, but I am not one.... kidding here. But I am so scared, Lily had a broken collar bone and her face was so bruised, after 40 weeks 3 days I was induced and would have not had her for several more days (weeks) if not induced, I went in at 1cm dilated. Most likely that was not the cause of her issues, but who knows. With Andi I choose a c-section because I was so scared of having problems delivering, and she is totally fine (well that really is a matter of opinion, but for the most part her brain is functioning well), but now I don't know. Andrew says just do another c-section (it was cool to watch apparently), Kibberts says don't take the chance, she and I know all too well brain injuries. But I am reading a lot of interesting things and another friend (who reads and comments here, hi! you know who you are) had difficulties her first time, (her daughter and Lily were in the same class), then she had a c-section, then a successful and safe VBAC. That is really inspiring. I don't know. I have time. What do you all think. I have a tilted uterus, I think small pelvis area and large babies (8 +). Worth it? Sigh... Next topic up... immunizations! Just kidding.

Tucson Escapades

I mentioned I would be going down to Tucson with Kibberts on Saturday and I would love to tell you all about our experience. Thelma and Louise have nothing on us. Well except maybe for that roll in the hay with a young Brad Pitt. Ok and all the murdering and stuff. Never mind, well maybe you will like this at second best.

So Saturday started out very early. When ever I have to be up at a certain time I wake up every hour before that time. It is weird, but that is what I do. I went to sleep around 10pm and woke up every hour from 1am on. I finally got up and ready at 5:30am, picked up Kibbert by 6:15am. We program the hotel into Harriet (GPS) and we went on our way.
The drive went smoothly and even quicker than we had anticipated. We were in Tucson in less than 1.5 hours and had some time on our hands. We decide to go to Starbucks and parked the car and went inside. No drive thru? We also quickly found out it was UofA graduation going on, so the town was “a popping”.
At Starbucks, we were a little giddy, Kibberts orders her drink and they ask her name. She tells them, then I order, they ask me my name and I tell them. He looks at me funny, sorry buddy your anonymity is all up in smoke, and says really? I say yes, “my name is Kim, also”, and then I add on, “our parents weren’t too original.” I guess I didn’t make much sense since the barista asks “You’re sisters?” and I said, “No, I just meant (looking at the cute young male barista) that Kimberly was one of the top names in the 7ehhhuuuhhhh mid 80’s” and flashed a smile. Kibberts just looks at me and excuses her self to the poop on the lid bathroom. She was hoping people didn’t think she was the one who in fact pooped on the lid.
So it was about 8:30am and we head over to where the conference is. It starts at 9am and it was very informative. I had a few ADD moments, but all in all I think I did pretty well. Brain injury is so intense. I mean you can have a concussion at 2 and see effects the rest of your life. I won’t bore you with the informative stuff that you can learn from, I am here to tell you about the mundane stuff that I find way more fascinating.
There was this old woman who kept interrupting with her stories. She interrupted the Dr. on several occasions and even told her that she “begged to differ”. The instructor was classy and handled it all very well. I whisper to Kibbers, “Grandma is feisty today.”
Eventually we break for lunch. We had a previous break, but I have nothing good to report. We just had some coffee and split a blueberry muffin. I know enquiring minds.
So lunch time Kibberts and I are at a table all by our self. This committee really went above and beyond with a sit down catered lunch. The entire conference was free. Eventually our table starts to fill up. We are chatting with our table “mates” when in walks feisty Grandma. We are thinking please don’t sit here, please, and she plops down right next to me. Sigh. Oh boy, here we go. It is really hard to relay what was so funny during that lunch, but understand that at one time I was in a giggle fit that I was trying to breathe thru and ended up scrambling in my purse for nothing but a place to hide my face. I couldn’t look at Kibberts, nor even think about looking at her. She at times encouraged conversation between Grandma and me by bringing up things that we “had in common” and agreed with Grandma that I was cold and helped in covering me with a cloth dinner napkins. Kibberts would text me in the middle of lunch, while sitting next to me, just to remind me of what was happening. And don’t think we are mean to a little old lady, it was quite the opposite. She told Kibberts that she hated teachers when she asked Kibberts what she did and she answered, again totally sorry about the whole anonymity thing, this lady was truly and in fact one crayon short of a full box. And negative as the day is long. We were on our best behavior to be honest. Plus I was tired. Giggle fits happen to creep up on me when they are totally inappropriate. And they are not far from a crying fit, so I can sometimes pretend one is the other. But this time I just looked ridiculous. So lunch was anything but boring and we skipped the rest of the afternoon sessions.
We went shopping. Some how in being a supportive friend buying myself $100 Lucky Capri’s was in fact being supportive. I am not sure why or how but Kibberts had me believing. Up next is Andrew, Kibberts that is all you. Unfortunately my brain works a little differently than others, maybe I have a brain injury, but after buying those pants I was on a mission for a new top. That mission led us all over Tucson looking for a Forever 21. I know, I know, I have a love hate with that place, but after spending that much on pants I needed a cheap cute top and we all know that is the place. Harriet was less than helpful on our mission and it was hot. In the car Kibberts tells me she is sweating like a whore in church and I find that expression so hilarious that I can’t stop laughing, nor can I get over it. I keep repeating it and react as if I just heard an unknown gospel.
Finally we find the most ghetto mall around and I find a Forever 21. It is crowded, gross and surprisingly small for a F21. Kibberts practically throws a shirt at me that pretty much fit my criteria and I can tell that spending anymore time there could be fatal for my friend. We wait in line, people watch and get pretzels, people watch some more and go back to our hotel. We take a nap and Kibberts call for an in room massage for us both. She calls and says “My girlfriend and I would like an in room massage”, “Great they are going to think we are lesbians and we’ll have two horny guys coming in to massage us” I say. She explains to me, what I already know, that she meant girl friend.
Two women show up and Kibberts opens her mouth and inserts her foot when she explains to the ladies we are not in fact lesbians. I would have much preferred them to think we were, other than insult them on their sexual preference. No idea what these women sexual orientation was, but I am sure if they preferred females, they did not like hearing that “we aren’t weird like that” coming from Kibberts.
Massages were fabulous. Odd my first couples massage was with Kibberts, but then again, not that odd. Then we showered and headed out for the night.
We called up some old high school friends who live in Tucson and they met up with us. They are the cutest couple who were HS sweethearts; well they really didn’t start dating until the end of HS, but HS sweethearts nonetheless. I had been friends with both of them for what seemed like forever. I knew him since the 5th grade and dated two of his best friends. Well married one of his best friends, but like our marriage, their friendship didn’t last either. That didn’t stop Kibberts from asking and receiving some good gossip.
His wife was on the golf team with me. She was always very simple, always cute, but simple.
But when they showed up she was stunning. Dark hair pulled back, hardly any make up and a face kissed by the freckle God. They were both in great shape, he a cop, and her, a soon to be, personal trainer. They were the cute couple that actually really enjoyed each others company and it happened to be his 30th birthday. We had a great time. Kibberts and I drank fast and often. After we bid our friends a farewell we stumbled thru downtown Tucson with not much knowledge of where we were going. I know we grabbed a sub. Tried to pay in change (like quarters and dimes) for a $7 pack of cigarettes and gagged on one puff of the nasty thing. And somehow managed back to the hotel around midnight and I slept until 7am. Ahhhhh, sleeping in! Kibberts at 7:30am grumbles, “I thought you were going to sleep in”, “I did!” I said. Although most of the time we click like nothing else, mornings maybe not so much. I am up and out, she is well, not so much.
Eventually I got her out of bed and we got breakfast and drove home to our much missed families.
As much as I hate to end this on a cheesy note, I couldn’t help but feel the warm and fuzzies when I saw Kibberts greet her husband when she got home. They were so sweet, so warm with each other and I should have told them to get a room, but then again, it was their home. He truly missed her and was so happy to see her back home. It really was very sweet.
Sorry, it was.
I was excited to see my family as well. I was greeted very warmly and was surprised to have come home to a spotless home. It was glorious. I spent the rest of the day being lazy with my kids while my husband paid money for his friend to color on his arm, with a needle, leaving no skin left. Up next, his face.
Love you Kibberts, that was a great time and I am glad I have you.
Who else would understand brain injuries AND whores in church.

Face to Face

In today’s day, the day of the Internet, the text messaging, the drive thru coffee, outsourcing, working from home, etc. Are we killing out chances for human interaction? What will our kids be doing? It seems like you want your kid to play with another kid, you have to plan a date with the mother. You have to pay for a class when most of the time it is the same stuff they do at a park.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am queen of convenience. I could be a huge contender for the world’s largest Internet junkie. Well that isn’t true, I am a little cooler than those people. But my life pretty much revolves around the computer. And what is sad is that my job is probably only 20% of my computer crap. I am the person who rejoiced in email. I finally had a place to break up with boyfriends, cancel plans, and ask a friend to meet me somewhere, all with the protection of non face-to-face interaction. Had I not found both my husbands face to face, I know I am the kind of person who would have looked in my little magical box of fun to find my prince charming. Luckily I met Andrew on the last day of 2000. When I wasn’t yet under the webs full possession. You can only imagine my utter happiness with the invention of text messaging. You mean I can email a person and text a person and never have to talk on the phone? Wow! Sounds great! And it is. Again it is another thing I think is fabulous, yet is it hurting me in the end?
I can’t remember the last time I walked into a Starbucks and waited in line and got my coffee from a pierced up gal named Punky who hollers “Kim” when it is ready. When I, and I have really cut back, am at Starbucks I wait in line in my car. I listen to my music, err rather my kids music. I don’t fuss with car seats and the hassle of life. I sit in my car and eventually I have my coffee handed to me, in my car. Convenient? Of freaking course that is convenient, but again am I hurting myself? 3 years ago I met, again, Kibberts, in line at Starbucks at our local grocery store. That was all we had before our big fancy drive thru one came up. We went to high school together in another town together, her dad was our Vice Principal. We liked each other and talked at school, but hung with different crowds back then so we never really hung out outside of school. Well she says we went to a game together, but I really don’t remember that much. I’m sure it happened though dear. I’m sure. So when I hear my name all foggy eyed from having a 10 week old at home, I look up and saw my girl Kibberts. It took a few minutes to register who this was and once I realized I was so excited to see her. She told me she lives in BFE just like me; we are a few miles apart. Then she told me the awful news about her husband and his accident, he was still in the hospital and suffering from a major brain injury. I told her a little about Lily who had just recently had brain surgery. We then exchanged digits. Although it took awhile to get together with her husband recovering and all, about a year later we all met up for breakfast and it has been kismet since. Although that long story wasn’t necessary, I guess I just think about how any chance for convenience I will take it. And I hate to think had we had that drive thru I might have looked in my rear view mirror and seen Kibberts and thought, that looks like Kibberts, but what could I have done?
Now I know we probably would have found each other on MySpace or whatever, but I like our story the way it is. I like that it had nothing to do with convenience that we met up.
I know I am not saying anything original, or profound. We all know what direction technology is taking us in. I guess I have been thinking about it lately and although I like it. I don’t think I am supposed to like it.

Cures for a bad day

Cures for a bad day.
Cry. A lot.
Call a good friend. Cry more.
Write. A lot. (privately)
Shop. A lot.
Lunch with a good friend.
Nap.
Oprah. (Totally ruined my whole "daddy's can't have babies" for Andi)
Cuddle your sick kid. (sick, again!)
Having your new neighbor friend offer to wash your puke filled comforter in their awesome washer. (They offered Kibberts, I am not cheating. You will always be my comforter washer)
Relaxing and laughing about nothing at all with new neighbor friends.
Going to bed early.

Repeat.

Never....Ever

Here are a few rules to the game of life.
Never play Sorry with an a-hole, never play Monopoly with an investment banker, and NEVER play scrabble with an English teacher.
We decided to get out of the city for a day and met up with Kibberts family in Prescott, AZ (pronounced Preskit). I hadn't been there since my bible camp days as a wee bible thumper and that place had changed. It really wasn't like getting away with all it's Costco(ness) and Dillards, but it was a higher elevation and there were pine trees.
We had fun.
The kids played.
We drank.
After one round of Scrabble, Kibberts kicked Andrew and my ass. We had some drinks, made the kids go to sleep and I challanged her to one more game, just us. I was trying to take advantage of her many malibu and orange juice's, but my plan back fired. I too had a many glasses of my Asti and as the game went on Kibberts words got longer and more worthy as mine barely passed two points, let alone two letters. I went to bed defeated, thinking next time I will beef up. I will read the dictionary. I will plan ahead.
If you didn't notice, loosing isn't really an option for me. I will rematch and it is so on.....
YOU HEAR THAT?????? IT'S SO ON!
After school at the cafeteria.

First off I want to say thanks for your kind words. It was nice to read them after I had a bad day. Having a blog it is nice to get things off your chest, but then people read those things you say and it leaves you feeling vulnerable. Embarrassed almost. Just wide open.
It is nice to know that the people reading care. No judging, caring. Maybe you all were just blowing smoke up my ass, but let's be honest we all could use a little smoke up our ass from time to time. It makes you feel better.
So thanks.
V-Day was good. Let me go back to V-Day eve and say I got the pee! I sat Lily's little tall naked butt on the potty training potty in the living room, I had couch pillows surrounding her and I sat down next to her as I filled out the kids valentines for their class mates (when will they do their own???!!), I was giving her a twix bar and milk and she said thank you by peeing. I was elated!
So V-Day, we woke up. I gave Andrew his card and his chocolate $1.99 fish that says "you're a keeper" and he gave me a card and Battle of the Sexes game to play this weekend when we go out of town. That was cute and thoughtful. Andrew got the girls cards and gifts and it was a nice morning.
I decided since Andi wanted to go to her school's party (we usually stay home on Thursdays) I had a morning to kill and since Kibberts has been asking me to come "observe" her work, I went to Jr. High yesterday. Kibberts teaches English and although I have big aspirations to write a book one day, I really don't even know what a pronoun is. I know I don't, I found out of my Nintendo DS Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader? Apparently not. So anyway, I thought I would quietly sit and "observe" but noooo... she tells her class that I am smarter than her and to ask me questions. Most of the kids ignored me, but when she was busy with another student and a kid had a question, she had the nerve to say ask Mrs. N. I am sure I went bright red, my hands were sweating and I said, "What?" He asks me a simple enough question, but almost too simple to where you are thinking, maybe I am wrong. I went with my first instinct and whispered to her, if he gets that wrong, please don't blame him.
So that was fun. I know I would be the worst teacher in the world, but watching her I was impressed. I was impressed my favorite drinking buddy, the girl I call whenever anything happens and she is there, my girl, she is well... an adult. A true freaking adult. Like a teacher. She is called Mrs. and all the kids love her and she is good at what she does. I just had to salute to her even more than I have already been doing. And it is amazing how she can manage to go a whole hour without one f*bomb, that might have been what impressed me the most! You rock!
So after that I ran to Phoenix to drop off the golden pee and met up with Andrew for our V-Day lunch. It was poke you in the eye fabulous.
Then I went shopping for a bit since I was where I am not usually (well alone and able to shop that is) and then got Andi and went home.
I made homemade spaghetti which was good, I had all the ingredients and it was going perfectly until I read the last line. Simmer for 3 hours. Oops. It was still good after a 30 minute simmer.
My parents called and wanted to bring the girls a little something, I told them I had some dinner for them and they got it simmered a lot longer and I am sure it was even better. They came, they ate and when they left my dad "forgot" a $50 on the counter. Sigh... I called him, "you forgot something", "what" he asks, "$50 bucks" I reply. "Oh I did.... you said you wanted to get your toes done" he says. "Oh dad...." I have a rocking dad. He really does rock.
Alright I am off for my follow up on this IUD and I am having him rip the damn thing out and throw it on the freeway. I cannot handle the periods I have on this thing. I bleed like I'm wounded and I am either about to jump off a bridge, or throw someone off one. Not cool. Not cool at all.

Where do I begin?

May I start with a loud, large sigh? SIIIIGGGGHHHHHHH........ I am tired. I am butt ass tired. Is that an expression? I am tired physically, emotionally and what other way can you be tired? Spiritually? Ok, add that too.

I really don't know what is wrong with me, I am so down. I swear I am manic. Just Sunday I was jumping up and down singing with the Grammy's and yesterday I was in the bathroom at the hospital choking back tears. Just take off my panties and call me Brittany.

Maybe I am tired because getting up with the puppy nightly is weighing in on me. Maybe it is because Andi didn't nap and she slept from 5:45pm to 4:45am and I was up with her. Maybe it is because I gave up Coke for lent, no not that coke.... the kind you snort. Maybe it is because this damn IUD is making me hemorrhage monthly and I am anemic. Maybe it is because I am having a pity party for myself.

Maybe, Maybe, Maybe.

I needed a urine sample for Lily yesterday before we went to our appointment at the hospital to start this study; finally, I mean really start it with the meds.

You get a urine sample from a 5 year old, 47 lb kid who wears diapers. I couldn't get one at home. She peed all over and around the bag they gave me. I sat her on the little potty an hour the night before and an hour the morning of our appointment. She would not go on it. I got up to grab something and she had a drop seizure and fell off the toilet, she was so sad. I was sad. I put her back on the potty and prayed, "God please, just please let her pee, just a little, please” but no pee. We were running late, so I figured just go and hope they can get it. They wouldn't. I had to. She had to have her blood drawn, an ECG and they told me to sit with her on the potty for 20 minutes and we did. I ran the water; I stroked her hair trying to relax her. I told her repeatedly to go potty. She had no idea what I was saying. I was once again praying, "Please God, just a little pee, PLEASE!" Never any pee. She pees the minute I put her diaper on and I start to cry. I wipe my eyes come out and shake my head. Nope. No pee. Another ECG and they give us 2 hours to get lunch and get pee and take it to the lab. I get another bag and try to put it on right. Putting my 47 lb, 47" daughter on a diaper changer for infants. Then we go sit in the cafeteria. I try to get a tray of food and push her in a busy cafeteria. Not easy. We sit down. I feed her.
I watch an older woman walking with a cane while trying to push her adult mentally and physically challenged son in his wheelchair and I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. Am I looking at my future? Next I look over at a couple of women huddled together crying, and I quickly look away as I think, I know what they are feeling. I was overwhelmed with sadness. I started having flashbacks of sitting in that cafeteria 3 years ago. I was pregnant and just handed my 2 year old over to let them cut her brain in half. I sat there toying with my food, staring at my food, swallowing the lump in my throat, because I don't cry in public. That date comes and goes and I ignore it. It was one of those days in your life that if you try hard enough you can almost wish it away. Almost. But yesterday sitting there spoon feeding Lily in that very cafeteria in the hospital I handed her over not knowing if I would ever see her alive again, it came back. I washed my thoughts away, fed her quickly and we went outside. We went outside and I pretended the people in scrubs sitting outside eating were Meredith, Izzy and George. I pretended what their conversations were because if I listened to my thoughts I would have broken down. We go to the bathroom and guess who peed, not in the bag? Lily. I know it isn't her fault, but c'mon, seriously? Still no pee sample. So I gave up. I told the lady that I will just bring it in on Thursday. I don't know how I will get it, but I will figure it out. It isn't a skip away either, so this was overly frustrating. I think I just have too much on my plate and it overwhelms me at times. I usually skate though our busy days, but yesterday I was overwhelmed. Probably because I was tired, probably because I was feeling sorry for myself, probably because sometimes life sucks. Most moms of 5 year olds can get a urine sample. Most parents of 5 year olds don't have kids in diapers. I know some do. I know I am not the only person dealing with these struggles, but sometimes I can't be tough. Some days I want to scream. Some days I just want to lock the door and cry in the bathroom at a hospital.
But today is a new day.
Unfortunately I am still crabby. Just ask Andrew who called and asked what I wanted for Valentines Day. I ripped him a new one because I already told him not to waste money, we don't have it right now to waste on chocolate and flowers. I said I told you I want to get some lunch and a card! Oops, I know he meant well, but don't ask me what I want for Valentines Day, if you want to get me something just do it, it isn't my damn birthday, I don't have a valentines day wish list.... please.
Oops. Well tomorrow is a new day.


*Side note*

I have been bugging my bff (snicker) "Kibberts" to make her own blog. She is an English teacher, she is an amazing writer, with an even more amazing story to tell and she finally picked her lazy ass up and did it. You have to check it out, she is fabulous!! I am so excited to share her with you all, but you can't have her. She is my bff.