Twlight

Ok I'll admit it. I wanna see it. I was going to wait until Monday to avoid the crazy kids, but I am not sure I can.
Kibberts got me hooked on those books over a year ago. And I admit I kinda wanted some vampire lovin. This is so not my genera of books. This is so not my style. But I love the books and can't wait to see the movie. I may end up in line with all the crazy kids and pretend to be their mom or something.

Wash that world right off my shoulders

Lily's pediatrician called to say that we are not carriers of this mutation Lily has! The mutation is on her CDKL5 and we will get a full report in a week or so. I am hoping more info on Lily will be on that report. But for now we are breathing a huge sigh of relief.
I also decided with this news to go ahead with a VBAC (I am doing my best to eliminate the word "try" from my vocab)! My OB is on board and I am so excited at trying this thing all natural. The best thing is they can't induce me, which I don't want to be, but the bad side is if I am a week over and don't go into labor naturally I have to have a c-section. So in about 10 weeks or so I think I will be having a lot of sex (sorry maw), drinking castor oil, rubbing some prime eve oil (or whatever that is called), eating spicy foods and doing a lot of mall walking! And asking you all to send me open up that cervix vibes!
I have never gone into labor naturally (and this is only my 3rd!) and I am excited at the thought! I just really hope I can do it and avoid a c-section.
So that is our news, although I may seem to have some mutations I actually don't. And neither does my husband, which I had my money on. YAY!

LOL

I wanted to share a cute story about my mom.
My mom is trying to keep up in this world of technology. We text her and we are lucky to get an "ok" or "thanks" back. She does email but of course never IM'd. And we did get her on facebook. So she is trying, she is trying.
But you have to imagine my shock when I read a comment she wrote on an online obituary that was done for an elderly family member who passed away that last line read LOL.
I said "Mom! Why would you write LOL on an obituary?" and she said "LOL means lots of love" I said "No Mom! Online LOL means laugh out loud!" (or laugh on line if you may) She was shocked and said "I didn't know!" so I am hoping other family members who read that were thinking she meant lots of love, it was their kids that thought she said laughing out loud.
LOL

"Hey Hunny"

"Hey Hunny can you stop watching football for a second and take some belly pictures of me, it's been a long time?"

Don't move from your place in bed or anything.

Me and all my ADD glory are on Flickr

Traveling

Let me just say traveling with a fully abled 3 year old is the easiest thing I have ever done. We were gone for a weekend, flew on Fri and flew back on Sunday and never had one issue. Strangers thought she was the cutest, sweetest thing around and I was pretty proud.
Not sure I'll ever go back to traveling with more than one again. Oh that is right I am pregnant.... with our third.
Well I still don't have to travel with them all, do I?

I can't believe next week is Thanksgiving and it is still in the 80's. Sigh.
Global warming?

Loved

So Andrew got these tickets to The Cards Monday Night Football game back in Sept. He has been talking about it and has been over joyed for this day. He said I must attend with him and he was inviting one of his closest friends and his wife (whom I love). So I said "sure" thinking Nov. 10th is far away and whatever. Well as the time got closer I started doing my usual duck and cover figuring ways to weasel out. I said maybe he should go with "the guys", when that didn't work I threw the whole no babysitter routine, to where his response was get on the phone with our niece and plan her stay the night (worked out great with a holiday today) so I was stuck. The game started at 6:30pm, it is on the other side of the state, might as well be CA so I knew this would be a long night. What I didn't realize was how many freaking commercial breaks they need for a MNF game. I mean seriously. I tend to do math when I am in situations out of my control as a way to figure out how much longer I will be there and go from there. I figured it took 45 minutes to play 15 minutes of football the first two quarters, the third went by nicely at less than 45 min THEN WTH the 4th quarter was worse than paint drying. Ok not really, it was in all reality an awesome game, but a flag was thrown on almost every play the entire last qtr, it took more than 30 min to play 4 minutes of football. I am not exaggerating. I am pregnant. I wake up with kids through out the night. I was tired, cold and uncomfortable. Yes it was a good game. Cards won, barely. Kurt Warner is incredibly hot, yes those are true facts, but to take 4 hours to play 1 hour of football is beyond ridiculous. And yes I said I was cold. The roof was open and it was a bit chilly. I have no idea how the Packers fans sit out in that weather and cheer on their team. I mean it was down near 60 degrees last night. I was cold!
So I had a lot to think about while I sat there for 4 hours, of course not while they were actually playing, but while the refs went flag crazy, and the commercial breaks were taken and the breaks by the teams.... I thought about how fast this pregnancy is going and I got sad. Baby Ollie was a mad man during the game and I couldn't help but think, will I be on the side lines watching him one day, of course God willing... still waiting for those test results that I feel could make this pregnancy be very stressful. But again God willing, will I be watching my baby boy play football one day? Or soccer or whatever he chooses, but he will choose one day. This is the last time I will be punched in the rib, tickled on my sides and kicked in my bladder. This is the only time he will be all mine, all the time and that made me sad. With the girls I just wanted the pregnancy to be over, I wanted to hold my baby, and I do want to hold him, but I think when there is a finality of knowing you will never experience this amazing feeling, then you really don't want it to go away. I truly do love the feeling of growing a child. That is a weird way of putting it, but that is what happens when a seed is planted, right? And well that is what happened. So anyway I thought about that. Then I was watching the filmographers next to us and saw a guy using actual film and that brought up so many old memories. I remember watching a special talking about how NFL is the only sports organization to still use actual film and it was interesting to see if be done. I was thinking about how in 8th grade my photography class we had to use those black bags you put your arms in the put film into. I was thinking about the dark room and the smells and how much fun that class was. And I wondered what do they do in photography class now? It is all digital, do kids even get to develop their film? Then I thought man I am old. I took typing on an actual type writer and I actually developed my own film in photography. Then I thought about how when I modeled it was shoot and hope you get it. You would have to wait for the film to be developed and get a call that said "we got it!" or "we need to re shoot!" I thought about how glad I am that when I modeled it was the 90's and I was allowed to have hips and be a *gasp* size 6!
I thought about the fact that even though I wasn't doing what I wanted to be doing. I wanted to be in bed. I wanted to have put my kids in their beds. But my husband wanted me to be with him and share in his excitement. He wanted me, not his buddies, me. And that thought made me hold his hand and kiss his cheek.
I felt lucky. I felt loved.
And even at a time that I wasn't my happiest. At a time that I feel there is this cloud over me and until I get the results it will be there and I don't want to think about the results if they aren't what I want. All that didn't matter. Doesn't matter. I'm loved. Whatever happens we will make it through and isn't that all that really matters?

Aggravation

It is absolutely aggravating that people on ESmay feel the need to rip people off with shipping. I am looking for a baby blanket and the prices look nice, then I see shipping for $8, $9, $10 and I want to knock these people in the head. I know you're hurting right now. We're hurting right now, that is why I am looking for USED items on the internet, but seriously c'mon. I Esmay too. But I guess I am crazy because I charge what it actually costs to ship. I've even been screwed by charging too little, but I eat it up, because I am nice.

Anyway enough whining. I'm tired. Again. Still. Always.

Oh and I went to see The Changeling with my sister and aunt the other night and while yes it is a beautiful movie, acted and directed. It captured my attention and was indeed an awesome movie. It was also awful. I sobbed the whole way through and was sick to my stomach by this true story. This is the second movie in a row that I have seen and coincidentally it was also with my sister and aunt and my sister also choose that other movie "Secret Life of Bees" that left me looking like I had just attended a wake. So no more movie picking for you Jenn! I need a break. Something light, something airy. Maybe like the one I suggested The make a porno movie. That was so much more my alley lately. Leave those heavy ones for you none hormonal girls.

What to post, what to post...

On the Wednesday after a HUGE election I am wondering do I post my political thoughts? But I have not been political at all. Ok maybe a little, but the only reason I got a little political was because I was so frustrated with all the phone calls and flyer's for the same darn prop daily. But believe me I got a little annoyed at the two calls placed yesterday urging us to vote for John McCain saying there is still time. I did vote. Two weeks ago. By mail. I will say I was really torn this election. I watched Obama during the Dem convention and was glued to the TV. He made a lot of sense and I had a feeling that he might unite a divided country. But then I always had to go back to cutie John McCain. He is a hometown boy. I think if he were Pres during 9/11 the world would be in a different place, but I didn't agree fully on all his issues, nor did I with Obama. I thought it would be nice to a special needs parent in the white house, but then again I know how important those first three years are to any child's development, let alone a special child and was torn if I wanted her in the white house or back with her family, still in a demanding position, but obviously less than running the country if need be. So I was back and forth, back and forth. And I did cast my ballot of John McCain. There was too little I knew about Obama and frankly the union scares me. Not in all situations, especially under government ran companies, but personally right here at home, they are bullies that I do not respect in the least. Sorry that was a little political, but I have deleted my post three times and I think I will just leave it at that. But I will say that although I was a little disappointed, I do have a feeling that this world may be a better place. I am praying it will. Maybe we will be able to help those in need all the while supporting those who work really hard to get where they are at. As long as there is a balance that will be a wonderful thing.
But if I am posting from the public library soon because I have no home let alone internet connection, well we will all know why.
Just kidding.

I hope.

So that is it from me about politics. I like change from time to time and I am being open minded and positive and praying this will be a fresh change. Maybe more money will go to funding things for my Lily bug. And maybe more research money will go towards finding a cure for rare things like whatever Lily has and making this something of the past. I do feel excited to be a part of history. This is a huge stepping stone and another way to unite us!

Let's all hold hands and move forward. Together.

Super Exciting Tuesday!

Super exciting Tuesday, right? Like this means after today I can go 4 more years without being overloaded with commercials that make me throw my dinner at the TV. I am not even talking about the "Big" guys commercials, it is the little local guys that make me gag. It is funny there is this set that goes after each other, I can't even vote for them, not my district, but if I could I would vote not for any other reason except to vote for the one not slinging the mud. This dude here Lord is his last name, all he does is say nasty things about his opponent and yet I have never heard him once say what he will do in the desired position. Gag me!
And if I have to watch the Prop 102 commercial one more time about how life is so wonderful when a man marries a woman I will vomit. Really vomit.
Wanna know what Andrew said to me last night as I yelled at the show Dr. 90210 (what a bunch of superficial idiots on that show, gag! But yes I do still watch) and then continued to yell the entire time the commercials were going? He said, "I really wish you smoked pot". By the way my day never let up with Andi, it was tough til bedtime and so maybe, just maybe I was a bit high strung, but for my husband to say that, well I guess it might have meant something.
I even skipped yoga last night because I was in such a bad mood. And I know I should have gone, but I just couldn't. Oh and wanna know what else happened last night? I was yelling at Andi when for the millionth time she refused to listen to no, I peed. Yes I peed when I yelled. Then I ran to my room and lied down. I was done. What am I coming to? Not yet 30 and I pee when I yell? I am just 26 weeks pregnant. This kid will be doubling, tripling, no quadrupling his size by due time. What does this mean? OMG! I need depends. I am not even 30 yet.
But wanna know what. I decided to have a different attitude. I woke up today and I was still crabby, but I decided that my crabby mood will not decide my day. I got the kids up. I joked with them, gave them more hugs than usual and made a vow to myself I will not yell. I will not yell. I will not yell. God I can't. I am pretty sure God did that to me to show me not to yell. I didn't even have to go the bathroom. So anyway lesson learned. I am going to be more conscious about letting my patience get away from me.
I am only sharing this to be honest. I am sure I will get comments about yelling is bad and whatever and that is fine. Some people live their entire existence pretending to never crack up, but I can't pretend. I am honest. I am hormonal and honest and apparently have a weak bladder. I am sharing that too, b/c well... I am not sure why I shared that. I am going to crawl under a rock now.

Is it Tuesday yet?

Is it bad that I cannot wait to sit and print page after page then fold, address and mail them over and over again tomorrow as opposed to stay home one more day with Andi? I know it sounds awful, but if I didn't get three days a week to work and she goes to school, I would be far more aged than I already am.
It is exhausting raising this child. She refuses to nap. I can get her to lay down after fighting for an hour, but I can't physically make her fall asleep... well legally I can't.
Our car rides she makes demands that are not feasible while I am driving. When did I ever manage to fix head phones, take off shoes, smell stinky feet, put on Mama Mia (for the 80th time), grab a pencil, no not that one the princess one, no that is Ariel, I want Jasmine.... I guess I should be able to steer with my toes while me and my large belly are turned around attempting to please each request, while texting. The funny thing is, I always say "when I stop". I always say that and I always follow thru with that, yet she seems to think every time she requests the answer will change, then of course when I don't take off Lily's shoes so she can try them on, she screams and cries and then throws something at me. I tell her each time you throw something at me it tells me you do not want it and I will throw it away. And I do. Today it was a doll car seat. And then more screaming and crying. Just one thing after the other. Kibberts watched her this morning so I could take Lily to horse therapy and have speech at home, then I got her and from the minute I picked her up she has been nothing but a brat. She threw a tantrum on the way to music therapy. Was fine there. Then threw a fit on the way home. She sassed me while at home and after screaming (on my part) now she is lying down, but every time I go in and look at her, she is wide awake.
Then when I left Lily's lunch on the couch to wipe Andi's poopy butt, the freaking idiot dog that I can't stand ate Lily's burger. More screaming.
I am sure baby Ollie is afraid to come out of my tummy because he knows that he'll be screamed at too.....
I hate this. I hate fighting. I hate yelling.
Why must she always be on volume 10?
Sigh.
Frustrated and still sleep deprived...

"Oh I need a drink"