I swear....

So nothing like hearing your 2 year old spew the word "bitch". I knew it would happen. I tell him over and over again, do NOT swear in front of the kids and wouldn't you know, when you least expect it. My road raging husband spews an awful word and he was raised better than to call women that, but he did and what does Andi yell from her car seat? "Big Bitch!" After breathing and counting to 10 trying my best not to laugh I say that is a naughty word and ignore it. Yet she seems to think it is a fun word and says it over and over. I do not condone children swearing. It is not cute and not funny, although it was. It isn't. We ignored her, but Andrew looked like he would bust his gut in trying to not laugh and encourage.
I was raised where swearing was not an option. Dad swore, but he was the only one who could. I would get in trouble if I said butt. Seriously! I remember my friend Marlene was over and I was acting cool and said "I feel on my butt!" and my mom just so happened to walk by and say "Kimberly Dawn!" I was red faced and didn't say it again, well around her. BUTT, BUTT, BUTT!
I have always thought swearing is not classy. It isn't something I do regularly and definitely not around my mom. Of course they happen to slip out, but I RARELY swear around anyone. Want to hear a true testimony to this? Plug your ear Maw if you are reading, or rather close your eyes? How does that work?
Andrew and I were dating a few months and always spent our weekends with Andrew's friend Dave. Dave had an Audi and drove us everywhere. We were a threesome. A WHOLESOME threesome, thank you very much. Anyway, Andrew and Dave were roommates so we all hung out a lot. They some how picked up on the fact that I didn't swear and they used to bust my balls about it. I guess hearing "shoot" and "dangit" was noticeable. They used to constantly say, just say f@#! And I would refuse. I would turn bright red and say NO! Well one night we went for Chinese food and were heading somewhere afterwards. I got dared to take a sake bomber after telling them that sake has some allergic reaction to me that always ends up with me doing something extremely embarrassing. I know Nicole knows this, Vegas.... sake.... sashimi.... wild man?! Yeah sake and I don't work out well. It is the only drunk I get that seriously takes me out of my body and enters a new person. Seriously people, I have had 4 sake bombers in my life! I am afraid of what reaction will come of that stuff. Anyway, I was dared and did it.
Ok back to the car ride... I am in the back seat, examining my fingers I am sure. Andrew and Dave are in the front seat and bam out of no where this car turns in front of us and we slam on our brakes..... "Jesus F@#&ing Christ!" I exclaim..... silence.... nothing.... "Guys! I just said f@&#!" Laughter filled the car and the story continues to this day. I told you not to listen mom!
Anyway, my kids will not swear. Well if Lily ends up talking one day and the word she chooses is a profanity I don't think I will mind. But Andi, no way. She can say butt, but that is it! Have a good weekend, guys!