What an emotional day.
All day yesterday as I practiced my monologue I had a hard time. I was Mary talking about witnessing her son's death. I kept feeling my dear friends emotions. I feel like I was in her soul as I spoke those words. After one practice I had to go into Andi's room, alone and just sob. I kept my emotions in b/c I have been busy. But the words I had to speak cut me in half.
The good thing was I think I had my all time best performance. The problem was I was so involved in the character I really flubbed my lines. I needed a cue 3 x! 3x! I have never once ever had a cue. Ever. It was over whelming. I just feel like I botched the whole thing! I did get some nice compliments, but when you feel you sucked, nothing can change that.
We spent the day at my moms with my sister, her family and my aunt and hers. That is actually a lot of people since everyone has a million kids. We laughed, played games but I still some how was left feeling empty.
I came home, we ate some thing. Andi played with her Easter stuff and I just feel a sickness in the pit of my stomach.
It seems pregnant people are popping up everywhere and it all seems unfair.
Unfixable things just suck.
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3 comments:
Lots of hugs Kim
You are SO right when you wrote;
"when you feel you sicked, nothing can change that."
I agree!!! I have high expectations for myself and fail sometimes. Doesn't matter what others think or say.
(I bet you really did fine though, I mean... it was for a church play! Not broadway!) :)
More Hugs Kim! I'll bet your performance was amazing!
You have a good heart and soul! You are such a good friend to carry such sorrow! HUGS!
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