Jon and Kate not so Great

Andi crawled into my bed around 6 am, snuggled in, kissed my cheek and then asked to "watch her show". I grumble, rub my eyes and say "what channel?" "the baby show" so I turn on TLC and I roll over and fall back to sleep. Andi doesn't care what show it is as long as some woman is pushing a baby thru her hiney hole she is thrilled. An hour passes and Andi wakes me up again. I see that Baby Story is over and Jon and Kate Plus 8 is on. Andi says "mommy can you change the channel, I don't like this show?" "why don't you like this show?" "because there are too many kids and they are winy". "You wanna know what Andi? I totally agree".

16 and Pregnant

There is a show on MTV called 16 and Pregnant. It appears if you want to be on MTV you have to be poor from the south and pregnant (16 of course) or super rich from the south having a big party. But that is neither here nor there.
So I was discussing with Kibberts the show and she said "they act like the baby is a doll or something". I said "yeah they really don't make it look that hard so now other kids will think I can do that, what they really need is a follow up show called 18 with a toddler, now that would scare them all out of having sex".
At least have them practice a little better birth control.

American Idol season 8 review right here

Most of you whom have been reading my blog for years now know that I am a big American Idol fan and have been watching/blogging about it since well… probably season 4. Well watching since day 1 season 1, back in 2002. But the whole blogging thing didn’t start to around season 4. I did it a lot of the previous blog that I had to shut down for a reason or nother. I know nother isn’t a word, ok. Chill red squiggly line.
Anyway, you may have noticed that I have said not one word about this season. But you probably have also noticed I have said not one word about a lot of things, seeing how this blog is my red headed step child. I should really rename it to that. But I digress…
I have wanted to talk about AI, but really the time escapes me. I am relishing today on the fact that it is near freezing this May afternoon at a brisk 85 degrees and cloudy so I have a reason to not spend an hour of my day in the pool with Andi. I know my life as a stay at home mom is really super hard and trying on my poor soul. But I actually get a minute to spend writing. And not just one liners on Facebook. Or Twitter. Geeze what are these words, what would I have thought of them if I had this blog in my hands 10 years ago. Blog, WTH is a blog?
Ok.. I just wanted to say that last night’s finale was AWESOME! I really mean it!
I loved the music! I loved the duet with Kris and hottie bo bottie Keith Urban. I loved Danny singing with Lionel Richie and can I just say that man looks AMAZING! How old is he now anyway? What a stud. Makes me feel like dancing on the ceiling… I don’t know, I do drugs. Not really, but it is funnier if I did.
I thought Randy looked adorable Tuesday night and Wednesday night. Some may have chuckled about his wardrobe but I found it rather foxy.
I have never liked Adam, not at all. I think it is b/c I have HD and he really looks kinda bad on HD. I know I shouldn’t judge, I am sure I would look pretty crappy on HD too and am thankful my modeling days were in the old days of cable. Or whatever, not HD.
But his make up is so make-up”y” you know? Ok I know it isn’t about that. He is a talented guy, but the screaming. And the tongue. Ugh. And I am even not really against the whole “guyliner” thing, actually one time at dinner at a fancy restaurant in Scottsdale our table sat across the drummer from Marilyn Manson and he had “guyliner” on and I couldn’t help but find him oddly attractive. Of course never more than my gorgeous husband, but it surprised me that I thought it looked good on that guy. Ok point, Kim? My point is make up on a guy isn’t that horrible, but let the “guyliner” be just that, we don’t need glitter as well do we? And Kiss? Yuck! It is hard to take Gene Simmons serious or not serious, whatever, after you see him a normal funny talking guy on TV. And aren’t those guys getting a little too old for all that silliness?
I liked Danny from the beginning and am surprised he didn’t take the whole thing, but I am not worried one bit about him. He will go on and do well. I find it very sweet that he continues to wear his wedding ring and that is great that he never spoke of his wife who passed to insure no pity votes. But he really did not need any sympathy votes, he can really sing.
Kris was my second favorite and I am glad he won. I was surprised by his humbleness and thought he should have had a little more faith in his self. He said Adam should have won…that was the time to finally feel validated, I mean 100 million votes! Seriously? You won a majority of almost 100 million votes. You’re good dude. Smile. Say yay.
I have to be honest though while watching “We are the Champions” I figured if I were watching the show for the first time not knowing who is who, I would expect Adam to win the thing by hearing him sing that song. He really blew me away with that song and to be totally honest even though he was not my favorite, I still thought he should have taken the crown, or statue, or whatever they were giving away this season.
I really truly enjoyed this finale. It was not my favorite season and I think it is because the girls were just so very awful this year. I mean I am pretty sure I could have sung better than Megan last night. I’m also pretty sure we won’t be seeing any of those girls again, well… except for Allison. But the rest, we may see, but it won’t be on a stage singing.
I will always love season 7, maybe has something to do with David Cook :) whom by the way…LOVED last night! But I also loved last season’s Idol Gives Back (where was that this year anyway?) and I still listen almost daily to the Top 10 singing Shout to the Lord. You don’t even have to like God to like that song. But I do actually like God so it is even cooler for me. It is the best collaboration of all the Idols songs ever. Well of course all this is said in my most humble opinion.
I think I will always have a soft spot for Idol season 1. I can clearly remember sitting on the couch holding my 2 week old daughter, Lily, with tears streaming down my face as Kelly sang “Moment like this” it sure didn’t move me like that when Justin sang it. I had a hard time at first with Lily bonding. I was so tired and had no idea being a mom would be so tough those first couple weeks, but holding her, hearing those words hit me like a ton of bricks and yeah that was a moment I had waited my lifetime for. Then a week later Lily started having seizures and her story started there, so yeah I guess that moment holding her watching AI will always be a poignant moment in my life.
But even if it wasn’t my favorite of seasons, it was my one of my favorite finales!
I don’t care what other say I love the Norman Sparkles or whatever his name is. I always laughed when he would sing and be silly and I enjoyed his little shtick last night.
Bikini girl and Cara… ugh. Cara bugs me and it annoys me that she did that last night. Some think it was funny, I found it a little desperate. I thought she was ridiculous to call the very annoying bikini girl a b back at the auditions, even if she deserved it, it still was very unprofessional. But I loved when Ryan said “I was going to ask you what was new, but I think I already know!” That was classic!
This is what happens when I have a few minutes of time on my hands. I purge. So much I want to say, so many run on sentences to write. Grammar kind of looses to getting it out in a matter of time. You know the whole quantity over quality.
So I would LOVE to hear all your comments on my comments and whatever you enjoyed about the show, the season. Whatever… purge along with me. That way I won’t feel so dirty.

The Lawrence Welk Show?

So it was Saturday night. Besides a little trip to Peter Piper Pizza I was shacked up with the kids all day. I missed my husband and Andi was being uber feisty. I was crabby to say the least.

It was 7pm. I was on the couch, exhausted. I forgot what a little bean sized human inside my body can do to me. And I start scrambling for my remote control. I never loose the remote control. I am not being facetious, I really never loose the remote control. I knew exactly where I put it and I knew Andi was the culprit. "Where's the remote control Andi" I ask nicely. She shrugs.
This goes on a few times when all of a sudden I hear the Tivo bloop and I look and see that this old Tivo from 04 has a suggestion for me and will start recording The Lawrence Welk Show for me in one minute. For one, why? Do I watch things like that? No. Why it never says hey lady Tila Tequila is on, why don't you watch it with your children in the room, no it says LAWRENCE FREAKING WELCH is on. My heart races.... Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! "WHERE IS THE REMOTE ANDI?" I screech. "I put it on Fiona" she says. "I NEED THE FREAKING REMOTE RIGHT NOW!" and then it was too late, it turned to The Lawrence Welk Show and I started to panic. Throwing couch cushions, yelling, absolutely looking like I was a crack addict insisting on their being crack inside the walls. I was crazy. The girls watched goobers dance and sing songs while I flipped my lid. And then it was over, I felt defeated. No I didn't cave in and watch that crap, I was left, but to turn off the TV. I know. It was incredibly awful. But I turned it off. Counted to ten and took some breaths, colored and read to the kids. I know the insanity! But you know what. It wasn't half bad. We all went to bed at 8pm and I survived the night with out TV.

Sunday morning while I was cleaning up (and don't think this is where I realize I put the remote in the fridge or something, I DON'T LOOSE THE REMOTE) I found a blue bag and in that blue bag I found one of those bean bags you heat up and put on your back, some colors and paper, oh and a remote control. I look at Andi and say, "remember putting this in here?" and she just says "yeah".

Sigh......

Please come home Andrew... I promise to not bite this time.

Quickie.... well I wish...

Just a quick little something... I have been a good girl and not saying one word about American Idol, I know not everyone watches and there are enough nerds posting about their thoughts, so I just want to say one thing.
I am totally stealing one of my most favorite McMovies (hint) from the 80's.

[David Cook] "I mean, he went from totally geek, to totally chic!".

Grrrooooowwwwlllll he is sexy.

Weaning myself

So I have been slowly weaning myself from MTV to VH1. MTV really has less and less to offer me, but there is still one show I can't let go of. That is The "Real World", I mean everything behind those quotes, let me tell you. I can't help it. I have seen every episode of every season. I love the show and the challenges. I know Rachel married Sean and they have like 5 kids. Judd and the smart doctor lady got married. I cried when Pedro died and Freddi too. I am obsessed with the show and let me tell you what I love so much about this show. This is it right here.
They throw two to three (maybe) "normal" people in a house filled with crazies and watching the "normal" react amongst the crazies is the best entertainment you can possibly find.
I will always love and cherish the moment during the Sidney season when Cohutta (normal) is involved in this mess of a fight (with crazies) revolving all around sandwiches and he says in his outrageous southern drawl after all the nonsense, "all I wanted was a damn grilled cheese sandwich".
Well it is like that once again and man some of these crazies are CRAZY! I love this dude Will, he is a beautiful black boy and as normal as all get out. He is going to court as a support to his stripper room mate and he is trying to politely tell her that wearing hot pants, a tank and an extremely tight sweater may not be court appropriate so she decides to cover up with tight, tight stretch pants. He was just trying to be nice, but you can tell he never deals with crazy strippers in court before.
That is what I love about the show. The faces of these normal people trying to deal with insane people.
I always wanted to be on that show. I wonder what category I would have fallen in.

Working for the weekend

I'm so tired right now; I may not make much sense. I don't want to use my blog as a place to complain, but it was one of those nights.
I went to sleep at 10pm. Puppy woke me up at 1am, totally normal, I usually take her out and am fast asleep, but it rained. Why is that a problem you ask? Because Fiona, Princess Fiona won't potty in the rain. I put her outside, get some water and she runs back in and runs to a corner and starts to squat, I freak out, I run, spilling my water, grab her and throw her out after telling her a few choice words of my own. But then my heart was racing, my adrenaline was pumping, I was awake. So, did I forget to mention Andi who told me she took a nap the minute I picked her up from daycare, so full of sh!t, lied. Why did I believe her? BECAUSE SHE IS 2! Why would a two year old need to lie about the fact they napped or not. We've got a fun future ahead of us don't we? Anyway, I let her watch Curious George in my room at 6:30pm and I checked on her after about 10-15 minutes and she was crashed out. I let her be. I didn't think it would hurt her to get a few extra hours of shuteye. Ohhhh was I ever wrong.
So back to me at 1am. I realize I could catch up on my Tivo'd shows and I start watching Real World/Road Rules Challenge that I had a couple weeks to catch up on. Add an episode of Intervention and it is 3am. I am still wide-awake and getting pissed. Little did I know how pissed I would be in less than 20 minutes when little miss liar pants woke up. I thought she'd fall back to sleep so I rubbed her back, was sweet as pie to her until I realized she wasn't going to fall back to sleep. She then started screaming to watch Dora, it was 3:30am! I told her no way in hell and to go back to sleep. Anyway, many tears and drama and then she was quiet. She was laying ON me and fidgeting, she was trying to go back to sleep while rubbing my boobs. I lost it and said "take your hands off my nipples now!" that feeling to me is worst than fingernails on chalkboard. I have no idea how I nursed her for so long. And b/c of it she is constantly getting frisky with me. Oh man I had it. At 4am I put on Noggin (why is that channel running 24 hours a day anyway?) and said screw it and I eventually drifted back to sleep and it was like torture to get me out of bed at 7am to get Lily ready for the bus. Andi never did go back to sleep until daddy took her to run some errands with her. She zonked the minute they drove a mile. But I am up, writing to you all. They are tiling our bathroom, making it handicapped accessible for Lil Bug and I am not so sure I want to pass out while strangers are in my house. Not that I haven't before, but....
Oh well such is life. Such is life of the parent who doesn't set many boundaries I should say.
They all can’t be winners folks.

See Ya!

I just walked past a couple hundred W2's in the mail out box and gladly said "See ya! Wouldn't want to be ya!" I hate January. I have several calls a day with people salivating over those things. I know for some it is a paycheck, I get that, but please I will get it to you. It is against the law for me not to. Ok. Patience. Please.

So last night watching American Idol, there was this cute Iowa boy with a good voice, but huge nerves kept him from getting the song right. Finally he gets thru and they said he could go to Hollywood, but Randy questioned his stage presence and I blurted out, "please girls will love him", Andrew looks at me, "I mean, I think they would." Andrew still looking "I mean, well I certainly don't, maybe some will...." Guess you had to be there. Andrew is the least jealous guy on the planet, he just pretends to be to humor me, so it was all an act... oh man, I totally ruined that story....

One more thing. Our work is VERY casual. Like I have sweats on today. Granted, they are expensive, but sweats none the less with a pair of Uggs. I am sitting at my desk "working" and in comes Miss long pretty hair, cute business suit, pumps, lady in a meeting with my dad and his partner (not life, business). I feel under dressed and very young, although she is my age I am sure. Anyway, I just get a text from my aunt and coworker (were country ya'll) "is she as hot as she sounds?" I text back, "you're freaking me out with your choice of words, but her hair is pretty and her outfit is cute." Then I think to myself, what the hell is going on here? Has working in the construction field off and on for 13 years turned me into a man????????? YUCK!

May I please......

May I speak about TV, I know that only 5% of the population will have a clue as to what I am talking about so just ignore me if you don't watch Big Brother, Newport Harbor or Rock of Love.
Big Brother: I freaking hate the Donatos (sp?) I am so mad they made it to the end together. Dick is well.... appropiately named.
Rock of Love: I freaking hate Lacey. Ol Brettie needs to watch out, the minute he "took it to the next level" with her, he needs to watch his back. That one is CRAZY, and not in that cute endearing way.
Newport Harbor: Is it really bad to have a crush on one of those kids? I figure they graduated in 07, right? He technically is legal. Does that make me a cougar?
But can you resist this?

Dancing with the what?

So I have not watched Dancing with the Stars in the past seasons. I thought it looked cheesy. I still do not look forward to it and plan on my evening with it but I do have this curiousity factor that overcomes me and I switch back and forth with that and Nip/Tuck. Last night I watched a lot more than the commercial time in Nip/Tuck (which was a good episode as well and I love Rosie O'Donnell on that show) and really think I like Dancing with the Stars!
I like all the characters and don't want anyone to go home. This is my rundown:
Monique, who? I have no clue who that is but I did enjoy watching her part in the 70's dance.
Joey, whoa! I still have to say "whoa" when I say the name Joey Lawrence. I like him though, he seems like a great husband and you know us women love good husbands. I love how he needed his wife's opinion on him being "sexy". He can shake it too. But we all knew that, he did quite the jig on Blossom.
Jerry, I like Jerry! Am I crazy? I love watching him. He reminds me of my uncle and I love my uncle. I enjoy ol Jerry.
Emmit, Love Emmit! He is so cute and he seems so nice. I like watching him in the practice sessions. He can move too! I am impressed with him.
And Mario, who can forget Mario. Ahh... those dimples, those hips, that ass on Nip/Tuck...... ahhh like I said before A.C. Slater? Who know???

I feel much better today, I don't know why I get in those slumps but I guess the most important thing is I can get out of them. I guess the day I cannot will be the day I get some "professional" help.