Humm...

So I need to know what is my deal. I really feel like I am in auto pilot right now. Like I am going thru the motions but I don't have much feeling. I feel rather indifferent on all areas of my life and I hate that feeling. I wouldn't consider this a "depression" I don't think, I mean I get out of bed. I take my daughter to her apt.'s, I go to work, I talk to my friends but I just don't put any effort into what I am doing.
I have been in some real dark places in my life. Real dark and I recover like it was nothing and now when things are going well I am now feeling like this? I have a great husband who loves me, showers me with affection and compliments, I have two beautiful girls. Although yes Lily does have special needs she is happy and healthy right now and I have no room to complain where she is concerned. Then there is Andi who can be a pill but I love her to death. She makes me laugh, she makes me proud. I love watching her learn and explore new things every day.
I am lucky to have the jobs that I do that give me the flexiblilty that I need and now we got this amazing nurse to tend to Lily that wants to work less hours more days which is a blessing to us. We are refinancing our house and our house appraised for so much more than we paid for it we are able to get out of debt and save hundreds of dollars a month.
I am being relieved of so much stress yet I feel indiffernet. I do not like this feeling at all and start to wonder if maybe I need to see someone you know "professional". Who knows, I will probably feel like myself tomorrow.
I am just really upset about my reasoning for closing my other blog. I was confronted on my own feelings and that really hurt and upset me. Should I apologize for my own feelings? I think not. I am really upset and hurt and very bothered. Again I am sure I will be over this soon but in the meantime let me wallow.
Let me be like Erica on The Bachelor. Spoiled rotten brat who hates the fairy tale of poor girl falling in love with the prince. Why can't the spoiled rotten brat get the prince for a chance, I mean her whole life is filled with fancy food, fancy clothes and fancy vacations.... it is so not fair.