Gym Whore

I have been such a gym whore lately and it is so out of my character.
The gym thing that is. Not the whore thing.
So I mentioned new neighbor friend has drug me to two, not one, spin classes. I am not a member of her gym and since I am quite the rule follower, well the rules that I think are important anyway, it sort of bothers me to be sneaking in. It has been the same guy at the front desk both times and I think he is wondering why I came in one week and signed in as Kim and this past Monday, since I didn't want to lie, I made my name look a whole lot more like Katy and my number resembled a Jenny from the 80's. She wants me to keep on going, but I think I will tell her that it is being dishonest that is keeping me from continuing, not the fact that my vagaga feels more like it has been in a gang bang. (bring it on google search!)
So then Tuesday morning I went to the gym with my parents and tried out their trainer. He said I could tag along with them and see if I want my own sessions. I am not a fan of hard work. Really. I am not. I thought it is 30 minutes, I can do it, my parents do it. I can so do this. This is the same dude that runs the boot camp I almost threw up all over last time. For some reason I thought it wouldn't be too tough. I mean, I played basketball for 6 years. Training was intense. I ran a half marathon and just last January I walked a half marathon with out training and much complaint, right Jenn, I didn't complain that much, right? So anyway, I get there and then I black out. Not really, but I sort of wish I had. This dude believes in hard core interval training and since he did my measurements this past Saturday and said I am on the high side of healthy, I need to loose 5% of my fat, he killed me. Well I wish he had. I have never had my heart rate that high. And I am an athletic person. I play sports, well I did. I thought my heart was going to beat of out my chest. That my lungs could not possibly expand to meet the amount of oxygen that I needed and therefore my throat would close up and I would have died. That was just during. On the drive home I was spacey and by the time I pulled into my garage my tunnel vision was raging and ear began ringing and then the coffee from that morning was sitting right there, just ready for the word go. I am anti vomiting, I am more of an anorexia person, I wouldn't let it come up. I just lied on my bed and waited for death to overcome me. He didn't so I had to shower and take the girls to the dentist. Seriously, I have never. And he wants me to meet him weekly on Wed's at 5pm. Oh I hope I get knocked up soon and have an excuse to be fat.
So THEN I talked Andrew into taking me to the gym, his gym. Our whole family was members at this mega gym, but when I wasn't going and the price was just outrageous, I took myself off. I told him to use a guest pass and him, Andi and I went while Lily was with her nurse. Why did I want to go to another gym when I was so beat? This mega gym has it all. Pool. Laps help me stretch more than anything. A sauna, which I hate, but I needed it. And my favorite, a spa. Ahhhh.
So we did all that, took Andi out of daycare and let her swim in the kids swim area. This is a MEGA gym.
OMG, did you hear Whitney's professional boss say OMG on The Hills that was weird, anyway, OMG really hits the nail on the head for the appropriate expression. Well not exactly true, I could say a whole lot more, but OMG works. My legs. My arms. My entire being. OMG.

Oh and just wondering, is it horrible that Andi is eating an ice cream cone, minus the ice cream, this morning? It was a compromise, I am such a wimp. The queen of anti confrontation wishes that was not such a huge requirement in the whole parenting arena.

EMO

So I apologize for missing and acting all "emo" and sh!t.

I just got myself in trouble, as it was well deserved, but it sucks.
I was sick in my stomach for making people I love angry with me. I really learned a lesson though, and isn't that what mistakes are all about? So I am moving on. But I was pretty bummed about that and some "female" issues.

But I am cool now. I am rolling and I promise to be back to being my hilarious self.

Oh really you don't think I am hilarious? Really? I will kick your ass.

My new neighbor friend, I need to give her a name, dragged me by my hair to a spin class last night. Ok, I don't get it. Why does that class make me feel like I lost my virginity every time I do it? Neighbor friend has a bubble butt. My sister who loves spin also has a bubble butt. They have no issues like I do. I do not my friends, have a bubble butt. I think the bubble saves the "vagaga" in my case my "vagaga" hurts (what is the proper spelling for that word? Spell check prefers vagina, oh boy can't wait to see what google search brings in......) so my thighs, fine. My calves, fine. My arms, my abs, everything is fine, yet I am walking like I went brokeback all weekend. Is that improper to say now?

Whatever. I will be better tomorrow.

7 Weird Things About Me

Kelly over at Missing J.T. Snow has tagged me with a me me. I am thinking weird and unique go hand in hand right? Here you go.



#1. I live in Arizona. OK, not so weird for some 6 million of us... but for those of you not 6 million people, Arizona is a pretty unique place to be living. I will explain. Every time I go somewhere in the months of November thru February, sometimes March even, I feel like I am a blessed being. I feel almost how a celebrity must feel as looking upon the "regular folk". I see people shoveling snow. Being stuck in their home for days upon end. I see people's faces freeze in one position. I see how plans are put on hold for a few months. I look at them and say, oh you poor things. That must be so awful. But do I really care? Not really. I know that in a couple days I will be back in 60 degree sunshine. HA!

But with every good thing, you must have a bad and living here happens to be pretty unique come June-September as well. It ain't pretty and living here at that time is almost like a torture plan. Our plans go on hold, like going to the park. Going for a walk. Going to take out the trash.
Being pregnant with a due date of late August was almost like a prisoner who even with a great escape plan you'd have to do it with an added 50 lbs and feet twice the normal size. It isn't pretty.

But we can swim in May (April for non locals), we are only a 5 hour drive from San Diego beaches or Mexico's if you'd rather, and if we do need to see snow, it is a couple hours drive north. We also have 6 professional sports teams. Have I mentioned how beautiful it is?
Maybe I am just weird to have such a love affair with my state. I love Arizona and I would never live anywhere else.



#2. I have a 36" inseam. Tall jeans don't fit. I need extra long. I was beyond ecstatic when I went to The Buckle and the gal helping me said, sorry we only have a 29 XXLong and I said, "You Do?!" I bought them on the spot! So that has to be pretty unique right? A 36" inseam?



#3. I guess being a professional model for 10 years might be a little unique. Not too many people get to do that. Maybe even weirder is that I have a condition where I stand too long I pass out. Isn't it a model's job to stand still? I can't tell you how many times I have passed out while in the middle of shooting.

I once passed out at an opening for a Dana Buchman store, where Dana herself was at. I was standing on a tree stump about 2 feet off the ground and about 12" across, in stilettos. I looked over at the model next to me and I said "I am not feeling well", next thing I know I am on the floor then rushed back into the dressing room and I hear them say, "Dana didn't see anything right?" I was groggy, but thinking, um hello???? I just fell off a tree in stilettos, can I have a coke???

That was just one time, then there were the concrete stairs in NYC, my male counterpart just stood there, didn't even try to catch me.

Oh then on tape somewhere (thank God this was pre youtube) there is me fainting on camera at a Sak's. We were filming for a local show here in AZ and I was in heavy winter wear, I was with several other models, the lights were bright and I got that tunnel vision and ringing in my ears, next thing I knew I took a few steps and face planted on the ground.

These are times I actually fainted, there are countless times I caught myself and had to take a break. A little embarrassing, to say the least.



#4. This is pretty weird. I have had this red thing on the bridge of my nose since I can remember. No Dr. can dx it, no laser can fix it. Actually laser treatments have only pissed it off. A facialist once told me it really hurts my looks. But to me it is just something planted on my face that I am used to and just cover up daily with make up. Although, it really doesn't cover completely, I embrace it.
Here it is in all it's glory (the camera phone is being generous)


#5. I have a daughter that is totally rare and unique. I guess it is pretty different to have a daughter in a wheelchair. Might be even more weird is my best friend's husband has been affected by a brain injury as well. We are quite the pair pushing our loved ones around in wheelchairs. And maybe even topping that off with a brother in a wheelchair. Wheelchairs just follow me around I guess.

#6. I pick my lip. It is a horrible and gross nervous habit. It is beyond a little pick now and then. It is a full fledged problem that needs an intervention.

#7. I can walk with my legs over my shoulders. It is very odd and hard to explain. I used to do it all the time as a kid and recently found out, I can still do it.


And while that was fun I just wanted to add:

Heath Ledger :(

It's a step

So in a step towards a new, healthier Kim we joined a gym. Not just any ol Bally's either, this is the real deal. Feels like a health spa more than a gym. It is nice and fancy and everything you need, only problem is I still have to exercise. Not that I am against exercise, when I am in the zone I am very athletic and in shape but getting in that zone is a lot harder than it used to be.
I took my first spin class in 7 years and next time I want to torture myself I think I will just tie a rope around each limb and tie the other end to 4 different horses, then tell them to run.
I think it might be less painful, at least a lot quicker.